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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades encourage students to learn. v.3

Grades encourage students to learn. v. 3
The topic whether grades encourage students to learn or not is debatable since ages. Today we are living in the highly competitive era where marks are one of the deciding factors to judge student’s capability. I agree with the statement that grades motivate students to learn. I am having this opinion because of the following reasons that i will explain in the following paragraph. First of all, i believe that highly competitive exams have put much stress on students to score good. Students study because they need to crack the exam for their better future. Most of the students want to get admission in high profile courses like medical, engineering and the list is endless. So they know that if they don’t score high, they will lose the chance to get admission in their desirable courses. Hence they learn more and try to obtain good grades. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. My brother wanted to be an engineer, during his preparation days he used to study for around 18 hours a day. However he didn’t like to study in his school days. But the pressure to get admission in one of the renown university for engineering he studied so hard. Secondly, i think that in our society the scores of the student decides his intelligibiity. The more marks the student achieve in the exams the more the student is smart and intelligent according to people. This thinking of the society gives impetus to the children to study more. Because they think that if they get good scores they will be appreciated by their family, teachers, relatives etc. For instance, during my school days i used to compare my scores with my elder sister my sister was intelligent and always got marks higher than me. And she was praised by my family. So i also started learning more and study more to get high grades. To sum up with i am of opinion that grades encourage students to learn to get succeeded in their career and to prove themselves more clever than others.
The topic whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
or not is debatable since ages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we are living in the
highly
competitive era where marks are one of the deciding factors to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
capability. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. I am having this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons that
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following paragraph.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
highly
competitive exams have put much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to crack the exam for their better future. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in high profile courses like medical, engineering and the list is endless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they know that if they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
high, they will lose the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in their desirable courses.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more and try to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. My brother wanted to be an engineer, during his preparation days he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for around 18 hours a day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
he didn’t like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in his school days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in one of the renown university for engineering he studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Secondly
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in our society the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
decides his
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelligibiity
. The more marks the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
achieve in the exams the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is smart and intelligent according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This thinking of the society gives impetus to the children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
they will
be appreciated
by their family, teachers, relatives etc.
For instance
, during my school days
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to compare my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
with my elder sister my sister was intelligent and always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
marks higher than me. And she
was praised
by my family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high grades.

To sum up with
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am of opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
succeeded in their career and to prove themselves more clever than others.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Grades encourage students to learn. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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