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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Why or why not? Use details and examples to explain your answer. v.127

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Why or why not? Use details and examples to explain your answer. v.127
Nowadays, with an increasing awareness of the importance of education, the past decades have seen the phenomenon that younger children were sent to the preschools. However, it is widely debated whether sending children to the preschools contributed to the disadvantages. This essay will argue that actually the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and will provide a few examples to elucidate the importance. It might be claimed that sending children to the kindergartens contributed to put stress on children and made a few drawbacks. However, one example, which can explain that it does not make children feel stressful, but it brings lots fun to children is that when most their friends go to nursery schools they might be feeling lonely. Therefore, sending them to nursery schools does not make them feel stressful rather than give them more opportunities to meet new friends. One indisputable benefit is more chances to fumble the world for young children. For instance, in the kindergartens, teachers lead several activities, which lets child to learn the new knowledge and brings fun to children, otherwise it might make them feel bored if they stay in their home. Through the way, children get the knowledge without efforts and stress. Another benefit is that nowadays, social skills became more important than the knowledge so that preschools are the best environment to practice social skills, since teachers can teach them and friends are the best partners to practice it. In contrast, staying their home not only makes them bored, but also makes them lose the opportunities to learn social skills and to meet new friends especially for those children whose parents are busy at work. In conclusion, based on the above reasons, it can be inferred that the advantages of sending them to the kindergartens outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, with an increasing awareness of the importance of education, the past decades have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the phenomenon that younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the preschools.
However
, it is
widely
debated whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the preschools contributed to the disadvantages. This essay will argue that actually the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and will provide a few examples to elucidate the importance.

It might
be claimed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the kindergartens contributed to put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and made a few drawbacks.
However
, one example, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel stressful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it brings lots fun to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that when most their friends go to nursery schools they might be feeling lonely.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
them to nursery schools does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them feel stressful
rather
than give them more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.

One indisputable benefit is more chances to fumble the world for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, in the kindergartens, teachers lead several activities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
child to learn the new knowledge and brings fun to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
otherwise
it might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them feel bored if they stay in their home. Through the way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge without efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

Another benefit is that nowadays, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
became more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that preschools are the best environment to practice social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, since teachers can teach them and friends are the best partners to practice it.
In contrast
, staying their home not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them bored,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them lose the opportunities to learn social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends
especially
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose parents are busy at work.

In conclusion
, based on the above reasons, it can
be inferred
that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
them to the kindergartens outweigh the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Why or why not? Use details and examples to explain your answer. v.127

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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