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DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH FOLLOWING STATEMENT TECHNOLOGY HAS THE GREAT EFFECT ON CHILDREN LIFE? . v.1

TECHNOLOGY HAS THE GREAT EFFECT ON CHILDREN LIFE? . v. 1
There is a very convenient option for people to work at home nowadays since they have access to computers, the internet, and telephones in their houses. This essay will discuss why I believe that the merits of this opportunity in terms of saving time and being free to work schedule outweigh the drawbacks of distracting factors. One of the cogent reasons why I tend to think that working at home is very beneficial is that this allows to save time. More specifically, getting to a workplace takes, in general, a few hours a day, which, if working at home, provides people with extra time that they can spend on their needs. An additional merit is that those who are not tied to the office obligation have more flexibility. Many IT occupations are good illustrations of this. Indeed, It is certainly clear that some IT specialists usually work home, which allows them to do their job residing in warm countries while their offices are located in cold regions. Thus, it is apparent that this is a great opportunity to enjoy a job even more. However, there are some drawbacks such as things that interrupt from being concentrated. Since there is no strict working atmosphere at home, people are more likely to get constantly distracted by many factors, namely children, pets or social media. These things undoubtedly hinder ability to stay focused on a job. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the advantages of having the opportunity to work at home, in terms of having more free time and set your own schedule outweigh the disadvantage of interrupting issues.
There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient option for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home nowadays since they have access to computers, the internet, and telephones in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This essay will discuss why I believe that the merits of this opportunity in terms of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and being free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule outweigh the drawbacks of distracting factors.

One of the cogent reasons why I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working at home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial is that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. More
specifically
, getting to a workplace takes,
in general
, a few hours a day, which, if working at home, provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that they can spend on their needs.

An additional merit is that those who are not tied to the office obligation have more flexibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
IT occupations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustrations of this.
Indeed
, It is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
IT specialists
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
home, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to do their job residing in warm countries while their offices
are located
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
regions.
Thus
, it is apparent that this is a great opportunity to enjoy a job even more.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as things that interrupt from
being concentrated
. Since there is no strict working atmosphere at home,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
constantly
distracted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors,
namely
children, pets or social media. These things
undoubtedly
hinder ability to stay focused on a job.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate that the advantages of having the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home, in terms of having more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and set your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule outweigh the disadvantage of interrupting issues.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TECHNOLOGY HAS THE GREAT EFFECT ON CHILDREN LIFE? . v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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