Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree? It is easy to bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier. Give reasons. v.80

It is easy to bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier. Give reasons. v. 80
In the modern day western world, especially in the big cities, shopping is becoming increasingly popular as a leisure activity amongst the young adults. This essay will discuss some of its most common reasons, such as higher disposable incomes and easy availability of cheaper goods in the big city. This essay will also argue why this is a positive development in today's world. In many western countries, young adults, mainly millennials, have high disposable incomes owing to their well-paid jobs. This helps them spend more on shopping, mainly apparel and fast-moving consumer goods. In addition, the number of malls and supermarkets has been increasing significantly in the last decade or so, giving a very easy access to affordable and good quality products. Due to these two factors combined, people have started considering shopping as one of the leisure activities that they pursue in their free times or over the weekends. For instance, a recent survey report states that more than 70% of young adults in big cities visit malls on the weekends for shopping. The trend that an increasing number of young people are spending on shopping has created a high demand of various products in the market. This in turn has created more jobs and has been contributing to a stronger global economy. For example, the countries that manufacture apparel are seeing a higher demand of their products these days from the western nations to support their enhanced demand. Moreover, frequent shopping helps people keep up with the newest fashion trends, helping them boost their self-confidence. Thus, shopping, as a leisure activity, has positive impacts on the societies as well as the economies. To conclude, many of the western countries are witnessing an increasing number of shoppers who buy things in their free times. This shift is being observed due to the emerging mall-culture and higher disposable incomes. Also, in my opinion, this is a positive development in the modern world as it is contributing to better societies and stronger economies.
In the modern day western world,
especially
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming
increasingly
popular as a leisure activity amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its most common reasons, such as higher disposable incomes and easy availability of cheaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. This essay will
also
argue why this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
western countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults,
mainly
millennials, have high disposable incomes owing to their well-paid jobs. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them spend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
mainly
apparel and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
In addition
, the number of malls and supermarkets has been increasing
significantly
in the last decade or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy access to affordable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality products. Due to these two factors combined,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as one of the leisure activities that they pursue in their free times or over the weekends.
For instance
, a recent survey report states that more than 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities visit malls on the weekends for shopping.

The trend that an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has created a high demand of various products in the market. This in turn has created more jobs and has been contributing to a stronger global economy.
For example
, the countries that manufacture apparel are seeing a higher demand of their products these days from the western nations to support their enhanced demand.
Moreover
, frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the newest fashion trends, helping them boost their self-confidence.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, as a leisure activity, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the societies
as well
as the economies.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the western countries are witnessing an increasing number of shoppers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things in their free times. This shift is
being observed
due to the emerging mall-culture and higher disposable incomes.
Also
, in my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in the modern world as it is contributing to better societies and stronger economies.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is easy to bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier. Give reasons. v. 80

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts