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Diversities of religion in society

Diversities of religion in society Xl5QE
Diversities is a significant word to describe the existing differences between cultures and traditions around the world and even the specific areas. People are living vastly every corner of the world, there is no doubt that there is a variety of ways of livings were created and recorded since the past. Therefore, it is not surprising that people normally experience diversities in both intentions and without intentions. Religion is one of the apparent examples of diversities. It is difficult to deny the fact that religion has a vital role in categorized people's thoughts. There are Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, etc spread across the world, most of the beliefs intervene in the people's lives. In other words, religion has been an essential part of most people’s lifestyle naturally. For instance, pork is prohibited for Muslims because it is considered to be severely guilty against Islamic rules. This prohibition reveals the inevitably everyday livings which refer to eating behaviors. Therefore, the Halal symbol is the most influential sign for Muslim cuisines; it is a confirmation to allow people to enjoy their meals without concerns. For example, even the most proportion of Thai people are Buddhist, there is a large number of Muslims in Thailand. It is normal to notice the Halal symbols are pasted in front of street food shops. By this, each religion has its unique way of teachings; adoption of concepts is the duty of followers and believers to acknowledge. As a result, it could be considered as a spread of diversity of religion in society. Furthermore, the diversity of religion is advantageous in the society. It allows people to learn to be open-minded to others' differences. As mentioned above, even most of the Thai population is believing in Buddhism, some people believe in Islam. As well, allowing to paste Halal symbols in front of the food shop among the dominant Buddism community is representing acceptance. Plus, the evening Thai market is a decent example. It is common to have Muslim vendors sell their products in the market even it is located in the temple areas. Also, Thai Buddhist customers purchase products from the Muslim community. People are living with religious differences without criticism or sarcasm to others. Moreover, this kind of open-mindedness could lead society into peace due to the fact that people show respect to one another. Individuals have no intention to publish the limitation for other religions, therefore, they can live together in the same society without many of the conflicts between faiths.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diversities
is a significant word to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the existing differences between cultures and traditions around the world and even the specific areas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
vastly
every corner of the world, there is no doubt that there is a variety of ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
livings
were created
and recorded since the past.
Therefore
, it is not surprising that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
normally
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversities
in both intentions and without intentions.

Religion is one of the apparent examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversities
. It is difficult to deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
has a vital role in categorized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's thoughts. There are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "Buddhisms"?
Buddhism
, Islam, Christianity, etc spread across the world, most of the beliefs intervene in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
has been an essential part of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle
naturally
.
For instance
, pork
is prohibited
for Muslims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is considered
to be
severely
guilty against Islamic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. This prohibition reveals the
inevitably
everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
livings
which refer to eating behaviors.
Therefore
, the Halal symbol is the most influential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for Muslim cuisines; it is a confirmation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy their meals without concerns.
For example
, even the most proportion of Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are Buddhist, there is
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
Muslims in Thailand. It is normal to notice the Halal symbols
are pasted
in front of street food shops. By this, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
has its unique way of teachings; adoption of concepts is the duty of followers and believers to acknowledge.
As a result
, it could
be considered
as a spread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
in society.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
is advantageous in the society. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn to be open-minded to others' differences. As mentioned above, even most of the Thai population
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is believing
in Buddhism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in Islam.
As well
, allowing
Did you mean "pasting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to paste
Halal symbols in front of the food shop among the dominant
Possible spelling mistake found.
Buddism
community is representing acceptance. Plus, the evening Thai market is a decent example. It is common to have Muslim vendors sell their products in the market even it
is located
in the temple areas.
Also
, Thai Buddhist customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products from the Muslim community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with religious differences without criticism or sarcasm to others.
Moreover
, this kind of open-mindedness could lead society into peace due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect to one another. Individuals have no intention to publish the limitation for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religions
,
therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in the same society without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the conflicts between faiths.
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IELTS essay Diversities of religion in society

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
415 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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