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Alarge number of people believe that living in the city is beneficial than living in the upcountry. To what extend do you agree?

Alarge number of people believe that living in the city is beneficial than living in the upcountry. r6N0m
There is a considerable rise in the number of people contemporary in urban areas compared to rural areas in today's society. The fact that persons believe life in the city has more advantage than the village, am of the opinion that living in remote areas provides cheaper and healthier lifestyle to people. To begin with, life in the country side offers a cheaper lifestyle in that food is locally acquired from farms and water is also freely fetched from naturally flowing rivers at no cost at all, this enables villagers to save on the cash they could have used to purchase food and water, in addition, consumption of organic food as well as fresh natural water reduces the chances of them being infected with lifestyle related illnesses such ad diabetes and high blood pressure, for example my cousin who was born and raised in the village lived a healthy normal life, later on developed diabetes after moving to a city for 10 year and only feeding on fast food, therefore living in the rural is much more beneficial to one's health and finance. As much as harboring in the upcountry is beneficial, the city not only provides readily available jobs but also a platform for interaction in the context that numerous workforce is needed in towns since most town keep on developing year after year by building and upgrading buildings and roads, learning institutions and medical centers and all these places are usually in need of a laborer in various departments thus providing employment opportunities to town dwellers and in addition, since the city is full of people from different ethnicity, they end up sharing ideas after meeting at work, for instance, I found it hard to sustain a job after graduating while in my village, on the contrary I immediately got employed month after moving to the city. In conclusion, even though it is believed by a large number of the society that life in the city has more perks than that in the upcountry i disagree to this notion and instead support that people lead better and beneficial lives in the rural.
There is a considerable rise in the number of
people
contemporary in urban areas compared to rural areas in
today
's society. The fact that persons believe
life
in the city has more advantage than the village, am of the opinion that living in remote areas provides cheaper and healthier lifestyle to
people
. To
begin
with,
life
in the country side offers a cheaper lifestyle in that
food
is
locally
acquired from farms and water is
also
freely
fetched from
naturally
flowing rivers at no cost at all, this enables villagers to save on the cash they could have
used
to
purchase
food
and water,
in addition
, consumption of organic
food
as well
as fresh natural water
reduces
the chances of them
being infected
with lifestyle related illnesses such ad diabetes and high blood pressure,
for example
my cousin who
was born
and raised in the village
lived
a healthy normal
life
, later on developed diabetes after moving to a city for 10 year and
only
feeding on
fast
food
,
therefore
living in the rural is much more beneficial to one's health and finance.

As much as harboring in the upcountry is beneficial, the city not
only
provides
readily
available jobs
but
also
a platform for interaction in the context that numerous workforce
is needed
in towns since most town
keep
on developing year after year by building and upgrading buildings and roads, learning institutions and medical centers and all these places are
usually
in need of a laborer in various departments
thus
providing employment opportunities to town dwellers and
in addition
, since the city is full of
people
from
different
ethnicity, they
end
up sharing
ideas
after meeting at work,
for instance
, I found it
hard
to sustain a job after graduating while in my village,
on the contrary
I immediately
got
employed month after moving to the city.

In conclusion
,
even though
it
is believed
by
a large number of
the society that
life
in the city has more perks than that in the upcountry
i
disagree to this notion and
instead
support that
people
lead better and beneficial
lives
in the rural.
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IELTS essay Alarge number of people believe that living in the city is beneficial than living in the upcountry.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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