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As the demands of modern life grow, both school – aged children and working – aged adults are increasingly consuming fast food as their main daily meals. To what extent is this a negative development?

As the demands of modern life grow, both school – aged children and working – aged adults are increasingly consuming fast food as their main daily meals. 7LxYY
Nowadays, the work’s requests are becoming more and more demanding and stressful both adolescents, that often are engaged with school and part – time works, and young people, who try to demonstrate their skills during their first experiences in workplaces. Because of the challenging rhythms of life, young workers often prefer to not prepare meals by their own but eat ready meals or order fast food take away. It must be said that this habit could have a lot of negative effects on young people’s health and balance. First of all, taking the easy option consuming junk food every day can become a significant cause of obesity, in fact this type of food often is full of sugars and fats, that could have very detrimental long – term effects on health. In addition, the risk of not spending the right time to eat is not enjoying food as people should: in this way, it could be possible nurture a bad and insane relationship with food, starting to eat only for nervousness or for stress, not appreciating the taste of food. Furthermore, the working life often not only not help people to maintain a balanced diet, but also it is a cause of a sedentary lifestyle. Statistics indicate that people spend more and more time at computer or sit for hours to work. This habit can create a vicious circle because be forced to sit for hours could cause a lack of interest in physical activities, making people lazier in every choice, also those regarding meals. This type of behaviour could be a cause of increase of overweight people, that have a weakened immune system and could suffer because not accepted socially by their peers. On the contrary, people that don’t take care of their daily meals could lost interest in a good diet, starting to walk the road to anorexia or bulimia. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the stressful work life has a serious impact on people’s health, and workers should try to support a change in eating habits, asking more time, during the working hours, to spend to eat or to prepare meals, or starting to walk or to cycle to go to workplace, trying to do exercise every day. Regarding the serious cases, like overweight people o anorexic people, it could be hopeful that the working head of these people encourage them to start a medicine or phycology therapy to overcome their healthy problems.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work’s
requests are becoming more and more demanding and stressful both adolescents, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
are engaged
with school and part –
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
works, and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who try to demonstrate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their
first
experiences in workplaces.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the challenging rhythms of life, young workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
prefer to not prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
or order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
take away. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that this habit could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health and balance.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, taking the easy option consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day can become a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of obesity, in fact this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
is full of sugars and fats, that could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental long
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
term effects on health.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of not spending the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
is not enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should: in this way, it could be possible nurture a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and insane relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, starting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for nervousness or for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, not appreciating the taste of food.

Furthermore
, the working life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain a balanced diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of a sedentary lifestyle. Statistics indicate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at computer or sit for hours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This habit can create a vicious circle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
be forced
to sit for hours could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a lack of interest in physical activities, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazier in every choice,
also
those regarding meals.

This type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of increase of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that have a weakened immune system and could suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
socially
by their peers.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that don’t take care of their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
interest in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet, starting to walk the road to anorexia or bulimia.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life has a serious impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health, and workers should try to support a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in eating habits, asking more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, during the working hours, to spend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
or to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
, or starting to walk or to cycle to go to workplace, trying to do exercise every day. Regarding the serious cases, like overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
o anorexic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it could be hopeful that the working head of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a medicine or
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycology
therapy to overcome their healthy problems.
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IELTS essay As the demands of modern life grow, both school – aged children and working – aged adults are increasingly consuming fast food as their main daily meals.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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