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discuss advantages and disadvantages of increasing expectancy

discuss advantages and disadvantages of increasing expectancy M37oq
Mother Nature has created humanity with lots of outstanding cognitive abilities compared to other species, yet humans are significantly influenced by the limitation in terms of life expectancy. However, with the relentless development of technology in the aspects of medical and living conditions, the world is now witnessing a dramatic increase in life span which brings about not only some tremendous benefits but also drawbacks to human civilization. Therefore, it is crucially necessary to look at both the pros and cons of this rising trend before a conclusion can be reached. On the plus side, the detected advantages regarding humans’ life expectancy are undoubtedly manifold. To begin with, living longer enables the elderly to engage in the labour market and devote themselves to the future of the society due to their abundant experiences. For instance, when schools or universities hold competitions for their students, they can invite some retired teachers to be the judges as they have more expanded knowledge to be able to assess more accurately and objectively. Additionally, as people live longer, they can be exposed to many important changes in society which allow them to easily discover and understand the true hidden value of life. Last but not least, with the increasing number of old people, scientists and inventors can have the motivation to create such hi-tech devices to boost their physical and mental health, and ultimately improve the citizens’ living standard. Nevertheless, the disadvantages of soaring life expectancy can not be easily ignored. Initially, the overwhelming diseases of old people require them to be provided with the best treatments, which eventually create such a huge burden on health services, especially in this COVID-19 pandemic. Consequently, the government has to invest a large amount of money from the national budget, which can be used for many other social issues, in building hospitals, nursing homes for the old. Moreover, this increasing trend can lead to overpopulation, which is a result of the imbalance between the birth and death rate, while the national ability is unable to meet all the residents’ demands. In conclusion, there are several advantages as well as disadvantages about the recent increasing trend of life span. However, I personally believe that the benefits eventually outweigh the drawbacks and, in my opinion, governments should find a solution to minimize the negative consequences and maximize the benefits.
Mother Nature has created humanity with lots of outstanding cognitive abilities compared to other species,
yet
humans are
significantly
influenced by the limitation in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.
However
, with the relentless development of technology in the aspects of medical and living conditions, the world is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
witnessing a dramatic increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span which brings about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tremendous benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
drawbacks to human civilization.
Therefore
, it is
crucially
necessary to look at both the pros and cons of this rising trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a conclusion can
be reached
.

On the plus side, the detected advantages regarding humans’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy are
undoubtedly
manifold. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, living longer enables the elderly to engage in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market and devote themselves to the future of the society due to their abundant experiences.
For instance
, when schools or universities hold competitions for their students, they can invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
retired teachers to be the judges as they have more expanded knowledge to be able to assess more
accurately
and
objectively
.
Additionally
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer, they can
be exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in society which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
easily
discover and understand the true hidden value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, with the increasing number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, scientists and inventors can have the motivation to create such hi-tech devices to boost their physical and mental health, and
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the citizens’ living standard.

Nevertheless
, the disadvantages of soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy can not be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Initially
, the overwhelming diseases of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
require them to
be provided
with the best treatments, which
eventually
create such a huge burden on health services,
especially
in this COVID-19 pandemic.
Consequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
invest a large amount of money from the national budget, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other social issues, in building hospitals, nursing homes for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Moreover
, this increasing trend can lead to overpopulation, which is a result of the imbalance between the birth and death rate, while the national ability is unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the residents’ demands.

In conclusion
, there are several advantages
as well
as disadvantages about the recent increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span.
However
, I
personally
believe that the benefits
eventually
outweigh the drawbacks and, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should find a solution to minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences and maximize the benefits.
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IELTS essay discuss advantages and disadvantages of increasing expectancy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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