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Discuss advantages and disadvantages of children to make own choices

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of children to make own choices xm88a
Nowadays some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices in different things and places it is likely in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. But other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters affect them. In this essay I will discuss both different views and give my opinion. On the one hand most of children allowing to make decisions because some parents did not attention about their childrens life education then children learning to allow their own choices such as food, cloth and entertainment. Some people believe that if children allowing to make their own choices about matters affect them. Obviously some children can not plan to make decisions and this affect them in different situations. Mostly youngest generation allowing to their own choices in food or cloths because they want to eat or wear with their own choices. Furthermore children allowing to make decision it is likely some peoples who only think about their own wishes. On the other hand nowadays it is important for children to make decision about matters affect them and make decision help to increase their over look. For example in many developed countries children usually allowing to their own decisions and it can help to countries societs and culture and these countries children make their own decision for their lifestyle. Children usually make decision about matters affect them. In conclusion, there are several advantages and disadvantages children allowing to their own choices. In my opinion more and more people allowing to their decision and there are a lot advantages than disadvantages
Nowadays
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some
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people
believe that
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allowing
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children
to
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make
their
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own
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choices
in
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different
things and places it is likely in a society of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes.
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But
other
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people
believe that it is
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important
for
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children
to
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make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
about
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matters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
them. In this essay I will discuss both
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different
views and give my opinion.

On the one hand most of
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children
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allowing
to
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make
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decisions
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because
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some
parents did not attention about their
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childrens
life education then
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children
learning to
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allow
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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choices
such as food, cloth and entertainment.
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Some
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people
believe that if
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children
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allowing
to
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make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
about
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matters
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affect
them.
Obviously
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some
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children
can not plan to
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make
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decisions
and this
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affect
them in
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different
situations.
Mostly
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
generation
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allowing
to their
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own
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choices
in food or cloths
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because
they want to eat or wear with their
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own
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choices
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
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children
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allowing
to
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make
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decision
it is likely
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some
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peoples
who
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only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes.

On the other hand
nowadays it is
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important
for
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children
to
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make
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decision
about
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matters
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affect
them and
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make
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decision
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help
to increase their over look.
For example
in
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many
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developed countries
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children
usually
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allowing
to their
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own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and it can
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help
to countries
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societs
and culture and these countries
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for their lifestyle.
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Children
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
them.

In conclusion
, there are several advantages and disadvantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowing
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. In my opinion more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowing
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and there are
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of advantages"?
a lot advantages
than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
disadvantages
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IELTS essay Discuss advantages and disadvantages of children to make own choices

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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