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Discuss a public place and suggest ways to make it appealing

Discuss a public place and suggest ways to make it appealing gqMjg
In all sectors of life, including the economy, education, technology, and even entertainment, our world is progressively transforming. We have numerous possibilities for obtaining entertainment on a daily basis. This could involve things such as playing video games, listening to music, or going to a public place. Gia Dinh Park is one of the most well-known third places in Ho Chi Minh City, and several people regard it as the most tranquil of the third locations to visit. This essay will dispute how the square has been used and propose innovative methods to make it more engaged and accessible to each other as well. Gia Định park is frequently used to accommodate the entertainment needs and requirements of nation of various ages and demographics. in light of the fact that the park covers a wide area of up to 32 hectares and is home to about 60000 m2 of grass and 1000 different species of trees, its fresh and spacious ambiance, this facility is appropriate for the aged, adolescents, and especially children. It's also ideal for a variety of movement such as morning or afternoon exercise, relaxation, socializing with family and friends, and courting with a companion. In addition, Gia Định park can be used to provide individuals with economic benefits. Plaza boost corporate and non-profit value, according to economic studies. Going to the square every day will help people save money and energy by reducing their use of air conditioners, fans, and televisions. Furthermore, the estate aids in bringing new residents to the city, resulting in a more dynamic development. For instance, residents living near the park can produce a living by selling essentials such as beverages, confectionery, and toys for children. Despite its reputation as a popular park, the number of visitors is steadily decreasing. In an attempt to settle this dilemma, we must propose ways to compose the park more appealing to visitors. The park’s infrastructure should be enhanced first. For instance, extra stages for organizing interchange activities, a free internet system, and public restrooms. . . Another point I’d like to make is that transforming the park into a hub for healthy cultural activities meets the people’s need for collective entertainment. Festivals on significant holidays of the year, exhibition action, and street events can all be planned and managed by management authorities. Last but not least, there’s the garden security hike. Parks have long been a gathering area for subject behavior, which is one of the causes for the drop-in visitors. As a result, the park’s management board should protect and observe it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and install tracking devices throughout the park to prevent bad situations. When tourists come to this location, it is beneficial for the park to have security. In brief, Gia Dinh Park deserves to be known for more than what they have currently.
In all sectors of life, including the economy, education, technology, and even entertainment, our world is
progressively
transforming. We have numerous possibilities for obtaining entertainment on a daily basis. This could involve things such as playing video games, listening to music, or going to a public place.
Gia
Dinh
Park
is one of the most well-known third places in Ho Chi Minh City, and several
people
regard it as the most tranquil of the third locations to visit. This essay will dispute how the square has been
used
and propose innovative methods to
make
it more engaged and accessible to each other
as well
.

Gia
Định
park
is
frequently
used
to accommodate the entertainment needs and requirements of nation of various ages and demographics.
in
light of the fact that the
park
covers a wide area of up to 32 hectares and is home to about 60000 m2 of grass and 1000
different
species of trees, its fresh and spacious ambiance, this facility is appropriate for the aged, adolescents, and
especially
children. It's
also
ideal for a variety of movement such as morning or afternoon exercise, relaxation, socializing with family and friends, and courting with a companion.

In addition
,
Gia
Định
park
can be
used
to provide individuals with economic benefits. Plaza
boost
corporate and non-profit value, according to economic studies. Going to the square every day will
help
people
save money and energy by reducing their
use
of air conditioners, fans, and televisions.
Furthermore
, the estate aids in bringing new residents to the city, resulting in a more dynamic development.
For instance
, residents living near the
park
can produce a living by selling essentials such as beverages, confectionery, and toys for children.

Despite its reputation as a popular
park
, the number of visitors is
steadily
decreasing. In an attempt to settle this dilemma, we
must
propose ways to compose the
park
more appealing to visitors. The
park’s
infrastructure should
be enhanced
first
.
For instance
, extra stages for organizing interchange activities, a free internet system, and public restrooms.
.
.
Another point I’d like to
make
is that transforming the
park
into a hub for healthy cultural activities meets the
people
’s need for collective entertainment. Festivals on significant holidays of the year, exhibition action, and street
events
can all
be planned
and managed by management authorities. Last
but
not least, there’s the garden security hike.
Parks
have long been a gathering area for subject behavior, which is one of the causes for the drop-in visitors.
As a result
, the
park’s
management board should protect and observe it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and install tracking devices throughout the
park
to
prevent
bad
situations. When tourists
come
to this location, it is beneficial for the
park
to have security.

In brief
,
Gia
Dinh
Park
deserves to
be known
for more than what they have
currently
.
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IELTS essay Discuss a public place and suggest ways to make it appealing

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
477 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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