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Discuss a memory that you remember in the past.

Discuss a memory that you remember in the past. 3abMn
I had a lot of memories in the past, and one of these things that I remember the clearest was that a collision when I was a child at the age of 15. I usually waited for my friend at a station near my house after we went to school together. The distance from their home to high-school quite short; therefore, I chose for riding bicycle to movement. A day as any other day, when I was standing next to corner road to see my friend, a motorbike ploughed into me. Moreover, that day was raining hard. I didn’t know what was happening and passing out. After that, people surrounding admitted me to the local hospital. Some citizens who were my neighbors looked at my accident, so that they called my mom to announce my status, and she had serious worry. My parents gave up their working to take care me, they worried about my health status a lot. When my parents appeared, I still was fainting. It took over one hour that I woke up. At the moment, when I opened my eyes and saw my parents, I was extremely happy. Fortunately, I still lived and definite everything. After a few minutes, when I changed state, doctors came and gave me to examine and diagnose my disease. Due to that mishap that my hair was lost in a point that my head was touched land. This made me feel bored; however, it was a small wound, and it didn’t have serious results. By good fortune, I was completely normal, and nothing bad occurred. The disease was not considerable; thus, I had only been in hospital three days. Doctors administered and allowed me to go home. During the days that I had to stay in the hospital, the man looked after careful a way and paid all the hospital fee was collision me. Almost every evening, he visited and brought nutrition food for me, such as milk, fruits, … In addition, I was discharged from the hospital, his wife went to take care me while my parents were busy working. I asked him about the reason why he crashed into me. He told that, he was focusing on his phone, then his raincoat was stuck. Following that, suddenly he saw me in front of, he didn't brake timely and that vehicle crashed straightly me. He felt afraid because he made injury me. Luckily, he didn’t escape, he was still here and took care me. He apologized to me for being injure me and my family forgave him because his good behavior. Besides, I had several new friends that was people crashed me. He and his wife are very good-hearted; thus, I liked them. Furthermore, I could not go to study for two weeks, and I remembered my friends; nevertheless, they visited me frequently with many snacks. They told me about amazing things school or activity society at period time when I could not go out. After the accident, I learnt a lesson for myself. All people should observe thoroughly to be safety when they come across the path. If you had any the accident, your family members would too much worry. Moreover, this brings a great deal of disadvantage your life. On the other hand, thanks to these little mishaps that we will have more experience than to protect ourselves and our family.
I had
a lot of
memories in the past, and one of these things that I remember the clearest was that a collision when I was a child at the age of 15. I
usually
waited for my
friend
at a station near my
house
after we went to school together. The distance from their home to high-school quite short;
therefore
, I chose for riding bicycle to movement. A day as any other day, when I was standing
next
to corner road to
see
my
friend
, a motorbike
ploughed
into me.
Moreover
, that day was raining
hard
. I didn’t know what was happening and passing out. After that,
people
surrounding admitted me to the local
hospital
.
Some
citizens who were my neighbors looked at my accident,
so
that they called my mom to announce my status, and she had serious worry. My
parents
gave up their working to take care me, they worried about my health status a lot. When my
parents
appeared, I
still
was fainting. It took over one hour that I woke up. At the moment, when I opened my eyes and
saw
my
parents
, I was
extremely
happy.
Fortunately
, I
still
lived
and
definite
everything. After a few minutes, when I
changed
state, doctors came and gave me to examine and diagnose my disease. Due to that mishap that my hair
was lost
in a point that my head
was touched
land. This made me feel bored;
however
, it was a
small
wound, and it didn’t have serious results. By
good
fortune, I was completely normal, and nothing
bad
occurred. The disease was not considerable;
thus
, I had
only
been in
hospital
three days. Doctors administered and
allowed
me to go home. During the days that I had to stay in the
hospital
, the
man
looked after careful a way and paid all the
hospital
fee was collision me. Almost every evening, he visited and brought nutrition food for me, such as milk, fruits, …
In addition
, I
was discharged
from the
hospital
, his wife went to take care me while my
parents
were busy working. I asked him about the reason why he crashed into me. He
told
that, he was focusing on his phone, then his raincoat
was stuck
. Following that,
suddenly
he
saw
me in front of, he didn't brake timely and that vehicle crashed
straightly
me. He felt afraid
because
he made injury me. Luckily, he didn’t escape, he was
still
here and took care me. He apologized to me for being
injure
me and my family forgave him
because
his
good
behavior.
Besides
, I had several new
friends
that was
people
crashed me. He and his wife are
very
good
-hearted;
thus
, I liked them.
Furthermore
, I could not go to study for two weeks, and I remembered my
friends
;
nevertheless
, they visited me
frequently
with
many
snacks. They
told
me about amazing things school or activity society at period time when I could not go out. After the accident, I
learnt
a lesson for myself. All
people
should observe
thoroughly
to be safety when they
come
across the path. If you had any the accident, your family members would too much worry.
Moreover
, this brings a great deal of disadvantage your life.
On the other hand
, thanks to these
little
mishaps that we will have more experience than to protect ourselves and our family.
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IELTS essay Discuss a memory that you remember in the past.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
563 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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