Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Art is an important subject in school agree or diagree

Art is an important subject in school agree or diagree DlWNm
Art is a form of express ideas and communicate concepts. Although it has some benefits to society, I think that teaching this in the primary school is irrelevant. This is because the fund can be better utilised for much pressing issues. Firstly, art rarely play any key role in the society since it is a luxury that can be affordable only by the rich. For example, Kadhakaly, a regional art form, in order to perform this requires an exorbitant amount money. The artists’ remuneration also huge; therefore, funding on this is considered as unnecessary. Secondaly, arts does not prepare students to secure a job and lead a decent life. The core subject such as, Maths, Science and Social studies would train the pupil to find a work and support their family. Similarly, the amount which could be allocated for the development can be channelised to fund the vital areas such as hospitals, education, and providing in basic amenities would be significant. The free entry fees can be utilised to compensate the insufficient government fund. On the other hand, arts not only did promote social harmoney, but this encourages creativity and promote history and culture awareness. Eventually, this can promote national pride, children will be encourage to learn their own history. However, it is belived that arts form need to be censored because there are some form of arts unsuitable for children and they need to be protected. Similarly, some arts criticise religion that can be deeply offensive which may ignite communal rivalry. The opponents argue that art should encourage creativity without any restrictions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and communicate concepts. Although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to society, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teaching this in the primary school is irrelevant. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fund can be better
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for much pressing issues.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
rarely play any key role in the society since it is a luxury that can be affordable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the rich.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kadhakaly
, a regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
, in order to perform this requires an exorbitant amount money. The artists’ remuneration
also
huge;
therefore
, funding on this
is considered
as unnecessary.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondaly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
does not prepare students to secure a job and lead a decent life. The core subject such as,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
, Science and Social studies would train the pupil to find a work and support their family.
Similarly
, the amount which could
be allocated
for the development can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'channelised' is British English.
channelised
to fund the vital areas such as hospitals, education, and providing in basic amenities would be significant. The free entry fees can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to compensate the insufficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fund.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did promote social
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmoney
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this encourages creativity and promote history and culture awareness.
Eventually
, this can promote national pride, children will be
Consider using the past participle "encouraged"?
encourage
to learn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history.
However
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
need to
be censored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
unsuitable for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they need to
be protected
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
religion that can be
deeply
offensive which may ignite communal rivalry. The opponents argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should encourage creativity without any restrictions.

IELTS essay Art is an important subject in school agree or diagree

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Art is an important subject in school agree or diagree