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Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. JxoE
People work hard for several years and succeed to get to their desired position and after this, they get their paycheck which they have dreamt of. Many people complain that this is an unfair thing that directors of major companies earn higher salaries. Though I disagree with them as they have worked hard to earn that desired money. Prior to my opinion, both views are discussed in the ensuring paragraphs. To initiate with, directors of large companies get a much high amount of salary and I think that they deserve it. Firstly, they have worked so hard to reach that position and have gained a lot of experience that an average salary would be an unfair thing in their life. Secondly, the directors have to make tough decisions for the company so that it does not lose any client and any important project through which it does not lose its reputation. Thirdly, as the responsibility increases, the workload also increases, and as a result, they would demand a higher salary which they deserve. On the contrary, Some people think of this as an unfair situation as they think that they should also get that high amount of salary as the directors of large companies. However, this is not necessary as the people would not work hard to complete the projects and would not fight for a promotion. Besides this, the company would be at a loss if it would give the same amount of salary as given to the directors to all the employees. Moreover, the company would lose its reputation as the ordinary employees do not have enough experience to give their clients that desired result. To recapitulate, directors or the chairman of large companies should get more amount of salary than ordinary employees as they have worked passionately all those years to reach that position. Furthermore, the amount of salary is based on the amount of experience a person has so practically it is necessary for that higher positions to get a higher salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for several years and succeed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and after this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their paycheck which they have dreamt of.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complain that this is an unfair thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
earn higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. Though I disagree with them as they have worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to earn that desired money. Prior to my opinion, both views
are discussed
in the ensuring paragraphs.

To initiate with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Maybe you should omit the article 'a', leaving only "much".
a much
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they deserve it.
Firstly
, they have worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to reach that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and have gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience that an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
would be an unfair thing in their life.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tough decisions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it does not lose any client and any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
project through which it does not lose its reputation.
Thirdly
, as the responsibility increases, the workload
also
increases, and
as a result
, they would demand a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
which they deserve.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of this as an unfair situation as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
, this is not necessary as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to complete the projects and would not fight for a promotion.
Besides
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would be at a loss if it would give the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
to all the employees.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would lose its reputation as the ordinary employees do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to give their clients that desired result.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
or the chairman of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
than ordinary employees as they have worked
passionately
all those years to reach that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of experience a person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
practically
it is necessary for that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
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IELTS essay Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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