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Directors And Managers of Organisations are Often Older People.Some People Say that it is Better For Younger People To be Leaders.To what Extent Do You Agree And Disagree.

Directors And Managers of Organisations are Often Older People. Some People Say that it is Better For Younger People To be Leaders. 6x9o3
Many Organisations Consider Older People For Leadership And In Many Organisation Role Of Directors And Managers Are Play By Older People. However, Some People Thinks Organisation is Lead By Younger People And Could Be Better For it. I Believe That Older People Have Enormous Experience And they Can take Responsibility In Significant Manner While Younger People Did Not Have Enough Knowledge in Decision Make And They Could Make Numerous Mistake In Top Order. Every Organisation Wants To Grow And Have Aim To Earn Large Profit Senior Older Directors and Managers Were Performing this Responsibility Since Long Time And Know How To Take Decision Under Pressure And Helps Organisation To Run Smoothly. For Instance American Express Company Have All Their Directors And Managers With At Least Minimum 20 Years OF Experience and Have All Managers And Directors Old People and Company is Enhancing Profit Day by Day With the Help OF Great And Knowledgeable Decisions. Older People Have Capacity To Take Risky Decision By Their Ideas And Thought Which They Have Develop In Several Years Meanwhile In Pressure Situation Younger People Make Decision Blindly. Older People Were Observing Market Since They Had Start Their Jobs And they Know How To Survive In Competitive Market And Develop New Strategies For Continuous Growth. For Instance During Covid 19 Many Young Managers And Directors Failed To Make Prominent Decision And Their Organisations Suffered Great Loss. Furthermore I would Like to Put Some Light Providing Opportunity To Younger People May Develop Creative Ideas and Innovative Decision Can Also Provide New Way For Running a Organisation And Provide Significant Growth. In Conclusion Older People Can Runs And Any Organisation In Proper Way With The Help Of Experience. However Opportunity Should Also Provided To Younger People To Leads And Show their Valuable Talent For Further Opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisations' is British English.
Organisations
Consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
For Leadership And In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
Role Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
Are Play By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
Thinks
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
is Lead By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
And Could Be Better For it. I Believe That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Have Enormous Experience And they Can take Responsibility In Significant Manner While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Did Not Have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Enough
Knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
And They Could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
Numerous Mistake In Top Order.

Every
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
Wants To Grow And Have Aim To Earn Large Profit Senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
Did you mean "We're"?
Were
Performing this Responsibility Since Long Time And Know How To Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
Under Pressure And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Helps
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
To Run
Smoothly
.
For Instance
American Express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
Have All Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
With At Least Minimum 20 Years OF Experience and Have All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
is Enhancing Profit Day by Day With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
OF Great And Knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decisions
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Have Capacity To Take Risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
By Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ideas
And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Thought
Which They Have Develop In Several Years Meanwhile In Pressure Situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
Blindly
.

Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Were Observing Market Since They Had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
Their Jobs And they Know How To Survive In Competitive Market And Develop New Strategies For Continuous Growth.
For Instance
During
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
Failed To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
Prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
And Their
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisations' is British English.
Organisations
Suffered Great Loss.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
I would Like to Put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Light Providing Opportunity To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
May Develop Creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ideas
and Innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Decision
Can
Also
Provide New Way For Running
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
And Provide Significant Growth.

In Conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Can Runs And Any
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
In Proper Way With The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
Of Experience.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Opportunity Should
Also
Provided To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
To Leads And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
their Valuable Talent For
Further
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Opportunities
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IELTS essay Directors And Managers of Organisations are Often Older People. Some People Say that it is Better For Younger People To be Leaders.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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