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Describe your favorite present you have received.

Describe your favorite present you have received. nR03n
The most favorite present I have received is a ball that my father gave for me at my tenth birthday. It is normal football ball but for me it is important because it is the first gift I am given by my father. My ball is the smalllest of the sizes. That ball is blue, its shell is made of leather, including thirty-two hexagons. I usually play it with my friend in the afternoon after stressful school hours. Now it isn't new so I put it carefully in my bedroom. Whenever I see it, I always remember my dad.
The most favorite present I have received is a ball that my father gave for me at my tenth birthday. It is normal football ball
but
for me it is
important
because
it is the
first
gift I am
given
by my father. My ball is the
smalllest
of the sizes. That ball is blue, its shell
is made
of leather, including thirty-two hexagons. I
usually
play it with my friend in the afternoon after stressful school hours.
Now
it isn't new
so
I put it
carefully
in my bedroom. Whenever I
see
it, I always remember my dad.
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Charlemagne

IELTS essay Describe your favorite present you have received.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
99 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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