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Describe your experience on a camping trip with your friends in a forest

Describe your experience on a camping trip with your friends in a forest GLN52
I remember four years ago before pandemic covide-19, I with my five close friends planning to join especial survival camping in the Gilan's hyrcanian forests in the North of Iran. We are keen on this choose. In addition, this travel will be first our experience which means very different from other our travel. Even though, it could be dangerous because we didn't know what is it looking forward our, for example, wild animal or lost in jungle. We needed to some items that were suitable for this excited camping such as, water proof tent, torch for dark place or night, compass for find location, warm blanket, sturdy rope to clime up mountain, insect repellent, knife, bottled water, water purification tablets and some things to tern on fire like, magnifying glass, matches as well as personal things like, sunglasses, sun cream, mirror, and toilet paper. When we arrived, the sun was shining and everyone was getting ready for the adventure excursions and camping in jungle. I with Ali starting to make fire as this time Shima and Farhad were going to take a photo, suddenly, we listened load voice of Farhad, we running to him an insect bite his arm was very painful, it was quite swollen and bruised and tour leader help to Farhad. As this time Nazi slipped and fell backwards and banged her elbow on the rock when she was running with speed to Farhad. She started to feel dizzy and then she fainted. We were really scared, team's doctor came here and saw her, she was unconscious for a minute or so, when she came round saw her elbow that was bleeding and doctor try to stop bleeding and it covered a bandage. Finally, du to whole events this camping we would rather leave here and came back home!
I remember four years ago
before
pandemic covide-19, I with my five close friends planning to
join
especial survival camping in the
Gilan
's
hyrcanian
forests in the North of Iran. We are keen on this choose.
In addition
, this travel will be
first
our experience which means
very
different
from other our travel.
Even though
, it could be
dangerous
because
we didn't know what is it looking forward our,
for example
, wild animal or lost in jungle.

We needed to
some
items that were suitable for this excited camping such as,
water proof
tent, torch for dark place or night, compass for find location, warm blanket, sturdy rope to clime up mountain, insect repellent, knife, bottled water, water purification tablets and
some
things to tern on fire like, magnifying glass, matches
as well
as personal things like, sunglasses, sun cream, mirror, and toilet paper.

When we arrived, the sun was shining and everyone was getting ready for the adventure excursions and camping in jungle.

I with Ali starting to
make
fire as this time
Shima
and
Farhad
were going to take a photo,
suddenly
, we listened load voice of
Farhad
,
we running
to him an insect bite his arm was
very
painful, it was quite swollen and bruised and tour leader
help
to
Farhad
. As this time Nazi slipped and fell backwards and banged her elbow on the rock when she was running with speed to
Farhad
. She
started
to feel dizzy and then she fainted. We were
really
scared, team's doctor came here and
saw
her, she was unconscious for a minute or
so
, when she came round
saw
her elbow that was bleeding and doctor try to
stop
bleeding and it covered a bandage.

Finally
,
du
to whole
events
this camping we would
rather
leave
here and came back home!
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IELTS essay Describe your experience on a camping trip with your friends in a forest

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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