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Describe your bestfriend and the factor make friendship longer

Describe your bestfriend and the factor make friendship longer pewDD
Her name is Lucy, she is Vietnamese, living in Binh Duong province. we met on a game called Sky- Children of the light. We communicate through facebook, sometimes we call and tell each other many interesting stories. she is a very beautiful person, she has short hair and a cute face with a dimple. especially, her smile is so bright, I am sure you will definitely be impressd when you see her smile. Luci is very personable and sociable, she is open to everyone around her and especially she understands and cares for others. Up to now, we have know each other for almost 2 years and there is never been an argument between us I think we have a lasting friendship as now because we have many things in common and I think that is an important factor make friendships live longer. this is in terms of life concept, same interests, goals and ideals. For instance, If you have a friend with similar interests, you can freely share your interests with bestfriend, such as playing the piano together, playing games together, even studying together to get better mark. Those things help to increase friendship even more. Or when you sad, there will a person who understand you and comfort you. And if you meet a friend who does not have the same interests and views, there will be disagreements between you, which will lead to broken friendships. So in the end, If we want to have a lasting friendship, we must stop arguing and arguing, lets understanding and sharing with each other is the best thing you can do
Her name is Lucy, she is Vietnamese, living in
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Binh
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Duong
province.
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we
met on a game called Sky- Children of the light. We communicate through
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facebook
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we call and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
each other
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many
interesting stories.
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she
is a
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
person, she has short hair and a cute face with a dimple.
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especially
, her smile is
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so
bright, I am sure you will definitely be
Possible spelling mistake found.
impressd
when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
her smile.
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Luci
is
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very
personable and sociable, she is open to everyone around her and
especially
she understands and cares for others.

Up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we have
Use past participle here: "known".
know
each other for almost 2 years and there is never been an argument between us

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we have a lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in common and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
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this
is in terms of life concept, same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, goals and ideals.
For instance
, If you have a friend with similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, you can
freely
share your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
bestfriend
, such as playing the piano together, playing games together, even studying together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better mark. Those things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
even more. Or when you
Did you mean "said"?
sad
, there will a person who understand you and comfort you. And if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a friend who does not have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and views, there will be disagreements between you, which will lead to broken friendships.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, If we want to have a lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
arguing and arguing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
understanding and sharing with each other is the best thing you can do
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IELTS essay Describe your bestfriend and the factor make friendship longer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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