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Describe the first meeting with the person you admire most.

Describe the first meeting with the person you admire most. BMagV
I can still remember the day when I saw her for the very first time. Believe me, I was mesmerized by her beauty in the very first look only. That was my first day in the new school and I was feeling lonely as I was the only one sitting on the first bench in the class. And then one beautiful girl entered the classroom and I found her so charming that I couldn't take my eyes off her. I don't do it usually but at that time, I kept staring at her and luckily she sat next to me on the same bench. I was so excited and happy that I went into a state of dormancy, I was in dilemma whether to talk to her or not. But this dilemma was for momentary and I buckled my strength which was in abeyance and I said her hello and that is how we talked for the first time. Afterward, we became good friends and then we fell in love with each other in no time. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Sometimes, I wonder that how time flies in the wink of an eye when I am with her. It's love, a never-ending love. She has entrenched her position in my life that I can't even think about my future without her. Our love is perennial and I will love her to the end of time.
I can
still
remember the day when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Believe me, I
was mesmerized
by her beauty in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

That was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
day in the new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
I was feeling lonely as I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one sitting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
bench in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. And then one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girl entered the classroom and I found her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
charming that I couldn't take my eyes off her. I don't do it
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
staring at her and luckily she sat
next
to me on the same bench.

I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited and happy that I went into a state of dormancy, I was in dilemma whether to talk to her or not.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this dilemma was for momentary and I buckled my strength which was in abeyance and I said her hello and
that is
how we talked for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
time.

Afterward, we became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
then we fell in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
with each other in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, I wonder that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
flies in the wink of an eye when I am with her. It's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, a never-ending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

She has entrenched her position in my life that I can't even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about my future without her. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is perennial and I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
her to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Describe the first meeting with the person you admire most.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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