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Describe something you accidentally discovered.

Describe something you accidentally discovered. 9YXVW
- Hi everyone. Today, I’m gonna talk about the topic “Describe something you accidentally discovered”. At that time, I was 9 or 10 years old. At that age, I was so naughty, I made my parents sad many times. I didn’t do it on purpose, but it was really bad. Then, I felt regretted so much. So, one day, my father forget to bring his wallet to work, so he wanted me to bring it out. Coincidentally, I dropped my father's wallet, when I picked it up, and I saw a piece of calendar paper in the wallet. It was very old and had a lot of wrinkles on it. It was folded carefully. When I opened it, I realized it was the day I was born. I was not unbelievable that he still kept that piece of calendar paper for almost 10 years. I felt so surprised and it touched my heart. Then, I asked my father why he still kept it and he told me he wanted to keep it as a memory. At that time, I knew that my parents were really happy because I was born. From this, I could feel the love that they gave to me. So, my father and I knew much more about each other, and we were like friends. Everything that happened to my life, I always told that to my parents. And I really love my family. I was so grateful because of being their daughter. Until now, my father changed many wallets, but he still kept this piece of paper.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Hi everyone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I’m gonna talk about the topic “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
something you
accidentally
discovered”. At that time, I was 9 or 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. At that age, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
naughty, I made my parents sad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. I didn’t do it on purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Then, I felt regretted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one day, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
forget to bring his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
to work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he wanted me to bring it out.
Coincidentally
, I dropped my father's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
, when I picked it up, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a piece of calendar paper in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wrinkles on it. It
was folded
carefully
. When I opened it, I realized it was the day I
was born
. I was not unbelievable that he
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
that piece of calendar paper for almost 10 years. I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
surprised and it touched my heart. Then, I asked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
why he
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me he wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it as a memory. At that time, I knew that my parents were
really
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was born
. From this, I could feel the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that they gave to me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and I knew much more about each other, and we were like friends. Everything that happened to my life, I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that to my parents. And I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my family. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
grateful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being their daughter. Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wallets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
this piece of paper.
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IELTS essay Describe something you accidentally discovered.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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