Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a person who is very successful at his or her career

Describe a person who is very successful at his or her career DaXkm
- Hi everyone. Today, I’m gonna talk about the topic “Describe a person who is very successful at his or her career”. Actually, I am a big fan of Black Pink, they are singers in the Korean girl group. The first time I saw them is on the Internet, they attracted me by their energy and their talent. So, I really admire them because they always followed their dream. They tried a lot to be the person that they wanted when they are just teenagers. And to me, the most impressive member is Lisa. Before being a K-pop star, she worked very hard to achieve her dream. In fact, she was born in Thailand. When she came to Korea, she could not speak Korean. And I think that was challenging. It was like she began at number 0, she had to learn a new language, she had to adapt to a new culture that she didn’t know much before. From my perspective, it is difficult for a young girl at the age of 13, especially she had to leave her family to move to a foreign country. She must be more independent and stronger than others to face many difficulties alone. To be a singer like now, she had to show people how much time and effort she put into her dream. She improved herself to be a perfect version day by day. At the present, she is acknowledged that a talented singer, many people admire her dancing skill, and many people always love this young girl and support her career. And recently, she published her first solo album, that named LALISA, there were two songs LALISA and MONEY. And many people appreciated her songs. It’s worth for her effort. Thus, I think she was successful at her career.
-
Hi everyone.
Today
, I’m gonna talk about the topic “
Describe
a person who is
very
successful at
his or her
career”. Actually, I am a
big
fan of Black Pink, they are singers in the Korean girl group. The
first
time I
saw
them is on the Internet, they attracted me by their energy and their talent.
So
, I
really
admire them
because
they always followed their dream. They tried a lot to be the person that they wanted when they are
just
teenagers
. And to me, the most impressive member is Lisa.
Before
being a K-pop star, she worked
very
hard
to achieve her dream. In fact, she
was born
in Thailand. When she came to Korea, she could not speak Korean. And I
think
that was challenging. It was like she began at number 0, she had to learn a new language, she had to adapt to a new culture that she didn’t know much
before
. From my perspective, it is difficult for a young girl at the age of 13,
especially
she had to
leave
her family to
move
to a foreign country. She
must
be more independent and stronger than others to face
many
difficulties alone. To be a singer like
now
, she had to
show
people
how much time and effort she put into her dream. She
improved
herself to be a perfect version day by day. At the present, she
is acknowledged
that a talented singer,
many
people
admire her dancing
skill
, and
many
people
always
love
this young girl and support her career. And recently, she published her
first
solo album, that named
LALISA
, there were two songs
LALISA
and MONEY. And
many
people
appreciated her songs. It’s worth for her effort.
Thus
, I
think
she was successful at her career.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Describe a person who is very successful at his or her career

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: