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Describe one of your trips

Describe one of your trips pK0rL
Last year, on summer vacation, my family and I had a trip to Nha Trang beach. My trip was only for 1 day but I had a lot of great experiences. When I got there I was fascinated by the beauty of thía beach. Especially this is my first time I play skydiving on the sea. The feeling of flying in the air and watching the all of beach makes me really excited. Not only that, I also enjoy fresh seafood dishes. Finally I took a lot of good pictures. If you have the opportunity, you should visit and experience the services here once. It was truly wonderful experience. If there is a chance I will definitely go back there again. This is my experiences. Thank you for listening to my presentation
Last year, on summer vacation, my family and I had a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trang
beach. My trip was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 1 day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
there I
was fascinated
by the beauty of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thía
beach.
Especially
this is my
first
time I play skydiving on the sea. The feeling of flying in the air and watching the
Consider using "all beach" or "all of the beach".
all of beach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me
really
excited. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, I
also
enjoy fresh seafood dishes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
I took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pictures. If you have the opportunity, you should visit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the services here once.

It was
truly
wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there is a chance I will definitely go back there again. This is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. Thank you for listening to my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
presentation
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IELTS essay Describe one of your trips

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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