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Describe a town or city (a country) where you would like to live in the future

Describe a town or city (a country) where you would like to live in the future wmLp3
You’ve asked me to describe a city that I would like to live in. And to that aim, I’ve decided to talk about Da Lat, a small city located in the highlands of Vietnam. Da Lat is quite far from Ho Chi Minh City, about 6 to 7 hours of travelling by car through fruit plantations and windy mountain roads. And because of its location in the high mountains, the city’s temperature can drop down to 15 degrees Celsius, which is much cooler than where I am from. Besides the atmosphere, its scenery, the spectacular waterfalls for example, also contribute to make Da Lat one of the most famous tourist attractions in Vietnam. Some people told me that I’m out of my mind, but it’s my life goal to own a cosy house in Da Lat and move there permanently when I’m older. The dream house that I have in mind will be located on a upper hill far from the centre so I can see the beauty of the whole city. As I’ve mentioned above, the weather, the scenery and also the culinary specialties are the reasons why I want to live in Da Lat. Moreover, unlike Saigonese people like myself, Da Lat and its people have a very calm and relaxed way of enjoying life. And that’s basically what we all need when we grow older!
You’ve asked me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
a city that I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. And to that aim, I’ve decided to talk about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city located in the highlands of Vietnam.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat is quite far from Ho Chi Minh City, about 6 to 7 hours of travelling by car through fruit plantations and windy mountain roads. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its location in the high mountains, the city’s temperature can
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
to 15 degrees Celsius, which is much cooler than where I am from.
Besides
the atmosphere, its scenery, the spectacular waterfalls
for example
,
also
contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
tourist attractions in Vietnam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I’m out of my mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s my life goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'cosy' is British English.
cosy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there
permanently
when I’m older. The dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that I have in mind will
be located
on
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upper hill far from the centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beauty of the whole city. As I’ve mentioned above, the weather, the scenery and
also
the culinary specialties are the reasons why I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat.
Moreover
, unlike
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saigonese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like myself,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Lat and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
calm and relaxed way of enjoying life. And that’s
basically
what we all need when we grow older!
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IELTS essay Describe a town or city (a country) where you would like to live in the future

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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