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Describe a time when your computer broke down.

Describe a time when your computer broke down. 1QxA
Well, I have broke down plethora of things such as wrist watch, mobile phone, laptop, glass etc but here I would like to talk about a time when my computer broke down by my own. Actually, it was the time of 3 months ago, when I was preparing my bca exams day or night. My efforts and hard work was at higher level at that movement that's why I had no time to go outside for relaxing and playing. I was lying on my bed one night before few days of exams and I was searching something about my topics on internet and it was the time of midnight. I felt very tired and uncomfortable then in few minutes I go to deep sleep and I forgot what was surrounding me. My computer fell down on the floor and broke down and it switched completely. When I woke up in the morning I shocked to saw my computer and I felt very nervous and worried about it and without telling someone about my computer I went to Delhi after exams and I told to my friend about whole condition who lived there. We visited to market for repairing it next day. And I repaired my computer with about 1000/- from machanic. I felt very jubilation to saw my computer which was broke down. Now this computer is working well as other computers. So, that was the time when my computer broke down by my own fault.
Well, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
plethora of things such as wrist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, mobile phone, laptop, glass etc
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
here I would like to talk about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when my computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Actually, it was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of 3 months ago, when I was preparing my
Possible spelling mistake found.
bca
exams day or night. My efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work was at higher level at that movement that's why I had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go outside for relaxing and playing. I was lying on my bed one night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
few days of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exams and
I was searching something about my topics on internet and it was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of midnight. I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tired and uncomfortable then in few minutes I go to deep sleep and I forgot what was surrounding me. My computer fell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
on the floor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
and it switched completely.

When I woke up in the morning I shocked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my computer and I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nervous and worried about it and without telling someone about my computer I went to Delhi after exams and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to my friend about whole condition who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there. We visited to market for repairing it
next
day. And I repaired my computer with about 1000/- from
Possible spelling mistake found.
machanic
. I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
jubilation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my computer which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
this computer is working well as other computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when my computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
broke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fault.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when your computer broke down.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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