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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. yoBE
As child development is very essential, there is a controversial issue about where the child should be raised. Some people argue that raising a child in the countryside tends to be preferable than raising in large cities. However, some people consider that the child raised in cities is likely to have better development. This essay will give reason why I agree that children should be raised in the countryside. Large cities have lots of skyscrapers but less or no natural environment but children's creativity tends to be dramatically increased when they experience natural beauty. Moreover, children living in large cities tend to be distracted easily by technology which is all around them. This makes the children concentrate only on their phones or tablets rather than care about the things that surround them. This leads to lack of creativity development in children. Therefore, children in the large country could not develop their creativity as much as the one in the countryside. Not only creativity development but also emotional and physical condition differs in each environment. Large cities’ lifestyles are rushed leading to lack of social skill with each other. In addition, most parents in large cities do not have adequate interaction with their kids. Moreover, there is lots of congestion in large cities. This leads to lack of sleep which will make children's brains not develop appropriately. This could also lead to lack of exercise as there is not enough time causing low physical conditions. Therefore, children in large countries are less likely to develop social and physical skills. In conclusion, due to the bad environment and lifestyle in large cities, children should not be raised in large cities. They should better be raised in the countryside with a more natural environment.
As
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child
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development
is
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very
essential, there is a controversial issue about where the
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child
should be
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raised
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that raising a
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child
in the countryside tends to be
Use "(preferable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
preferable
than raising in
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large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is likely to have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This essay will give reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
in the countryside.

Large
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cities
have lots of skyscrapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less or no natural
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environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
children's creativity tends to be
dramatically
increased when they experience natural beauty.
Moreover
,
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children
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
tend to
be distracted
easily
by technology which is all around them. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their phones or tablets
rather
than care about the things that surround them. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of creativity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
,
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children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
country could not develop their creativity as much as the one in the countryside.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
creativity
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development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
emotional and physical condition differs in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
lifestyles
are rushed
leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with each other.
In addition
, most parents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
do not have adequate interaction with their kids.
Moreover
, there is lots of congestion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of sleep which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children's brains not develop
appropriately
. This could
also
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of exercise as there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time causing low physical conditions.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
countries are less likely to develop social and physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and lifestyle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. They should better be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
in the countryside with a more natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
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IELTS essay It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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