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DESCRIBE A TIME WHEN YOU HELPED A FRIEND

DESCRIBE A TIME WHEN YOU HELPED A FRIEND AwJNw
BEING A NGO MEMBER I HAVE A HABIT TO HELP OTHERS. I ALWAYS HELP TO MY NEAR AND DEAR ONES. NOW I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION WHEN I HELPED MY BEST FRIEND. ONE WEEK AGO, MY FRIEND TEENA CALLED ME AND SAID THAT HER FATHER WAS ON SERIOUS CONDITION DUE TO MAJOR ACCIDENT. she wanted two bottles of o- blood for her father Unfortunately my blood group is B- and i could not gave my blood to her father. Then I shared this information in whatsapp groups and one of my colleague bobby who has O- blood group and he agreed to gave blood. then i pick him from his home and reached at hospital where her father was admitted. After testing his blood, doctors take my colleague for gave blood to teena's father. After two hours doctor said her father was out of danger. my friend and her mother was very thankful to us. and also try to giving some money to my colleague but he did not take that money for this help. after 3 days doctors discharged his father and now he is very well. I feel very proud for this type of help.
BEING A NGO MEMBER I HAVE A HABIT TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
OTHERS.

I ALWAYS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
TO MY NEAR AND DEAR ONES.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
I WOULD LIKE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
THE SITUATION WHEN I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPED
MY BEST FRIEND.

ONE WEEK AGO, MY FRIEND
Possible spelling mistake found.
TEENA
CALLED ME AND SAID THAT HER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FATHER
WAS ON SERIOUS CONDITION DUE TO MAJOR ACCIDENT.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
she
wanted two bottles of o-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
for her father

Unfortunately my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
group is B- and
Did you mean "I"?
i
could not
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gave
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
to her father.

Then I shared this information in
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
groups and one of my colleague bobby who has O-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to gave blood.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
pick him from his home and reached at hospital where her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was admitted
.

After testing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
, doctors take my colleague for gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
teena
's father.

“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
two hours doctor said her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
friend and her mother was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thankful to us. and
also
try to
Did you mean "give"?
giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to my colleague
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he did not take that money for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
3 days doctors discharged his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud for this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
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IELTS essay DESCRIBE A TIME WHEN YOU HELPED A FRIEND

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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