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Describe a leader that I admire

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Today I’m going to talk ab a leader that I look up to, his name is Barack Obama. He is not only an American attorney and politician who served as the 44th president of the US but also the first African American to be elected to the presidency. I admire him for a variety of reasons. First of all, on the subject of his personality, I must confess that I was struck by his generosity and hard-working. He respects everyone, whether they are wealthy or impoverished. Moreover, he contributes to the overall development of the USA. He took different policies to enhance the country’s diplomatic influence over the states. In addition, he also served a great role to improve the economy of the country. Last but not least, he had run some campaigns for those persons who face racial discrimination in foreign countries.
Today
I’m going to talk ab a leader that I look up to, his name is Barack Obama. He is not
only
an American attorney and politician who served as the 44th president of the US
but
also
the
first
African American to
be elected
to the presidency. I admire him for a variety of reasons.
First of all
, on the subject of his personality, I
must
confess that I
was struck
by his generosity and
hard
-working. He respects everyone, whether they are wealthy or impoverished.
Moreover
, he contributes to the
overall
development of the USA. He took
different
policies to enhance the country’s diplomatic influence over the states.
In addition
, he
also
served a great role to
improve
the economy of the country. Last
but
not least, he had run
some
campaigns for those persons who face racial discrimination in foreign countries.
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IELTS essay Describe a leader that I admire

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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