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: Describe a festival that you have attended in your country. (You should mention its location, ceremony section, festival section, activities, ect.) What do you dislike about the festival? How do you want them to be changed?

: Describe a festival that you have attended in your country. (You should mention its location, ceremony section, festival section, activities, ect. ) What do you dislike about the festival? How do you want them to be changed? AgqJx
In the spring of 2019, I had a chance to visit the Lim festival in Bac Ninh and it became the most memorable experience for me. The Lim festival is one of the most famous feast-days in Viet Nam. Situated in Van Tuong, Tien Son, Bac Ninh, Lim pagoda located on the top of Hong Van mountain. Visitors come there to make some wishes about luck, health, prosperities, ect. . . and they also pray for their wishes to come true. The Lim festival is held annually on the 13th of lunar January but it was canceled in 2020 and 2021 because of the Covid-19 pandemic. As other festival in Viet Nam, Lim festival is also divided into 2 parts: festival section and ceremony section. The centre of this festival is the beginning when they pick up tutelary god of village, male and female who have deserve service to the country in the Co Lang temple, Hong Van tomb, Do Nguyen Thuy tomb. The crowed of village who join in this procession all wore colorful antique costumes. After this parade, people started to thurify and worship Buddha along with midwife A in Hong Van temple. The atmosphere there was really great but there were too many people, so it was really hard for me to watch all the parade. The ceremony section is funnier and has more things to do. After the pilgrimage, tourist can join many outside activities such as wrestling, cooking rice examination, human chess, . . . But I think the most attracted activity in Lim festival is Hat Hoi. Lien Anh (male) wore Xep scarf and Lien Chi (female) wore Non Quai Thao, they will sing some specific songs of Bac Ninh. These songs are known as Quan Ho Bac Ninh which was recognized as an intangible cultural heritage of humanity in 2009 by UNESCO. Quan Ho Bac Ninh is mixed between rhythm and poem, these songs often talk about love, the conditions of people and objects, also the husband and wife life, ect. . . . Until now I have never forgotten that flow, it always repeats in my mind when I remember about the Lim festival. Beside all the attractions in Lim festival, there is a negative point that I do not like there. It is about the waste problem. Because thousands of people come there each feast-day, the amount of trash is very huge. Actually, I easily found a rubbish bin on the way I went, but I seldom see a person that throws garbage in the right place. All that garbage was going to damage the environment in Lim Pagoda. I was really worried to see the scene after tourists went and all the things left over in Lim pagoda were just trash and garbage. I hope every tourist who comes to the Lim festival in the future will pay attention at that point and throw the garbage in the rubbish bin. This action looks small to a person, but if thousands of tourists all do that, there will not be any Lim pagoda or Lim festival in the future. The Lim festival is one of the light spots in spiritual tourism of VietNam, it attracts thousands of tourists each year. In spite of some weakness about garbage problems, price, … I think the government will have solutions in the near future. Hopefully each tourist will have some behaviors to prevent Lim pagoda from rubbish and to make Lim pagoda become a worthy place to visit.
In the spring of 2019, I had a chance to visit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
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Ninh
and it became the most memorable experience for me. The
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Lim
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festival
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
feast-days in
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Viet
Nam. Situated in
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Van
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tuong
,
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Tien
Son,
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Bac
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Ninh
,
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Lim
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pagoda
located on the top of Hong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Van
mountain. Visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wishes about luck, health,
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prosperities
,
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ect
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
they
also
pray for their wishes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true. The
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Lim
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festival
is held
annually
on the 13th of lunar January
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was canceled
in 2020 and 2021
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Covid-19 pandemic.

As other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in
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Viet
Nam,
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Lim
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festival
is
also
divided into 2 parts:
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festival
section and ceremony section. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
is the beginning when they pick up tutelary god of village, male and female who have
Use past participle here: "deserved".
deserve
service to the country in the Co Lang temple, Hong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Van
tomb, Do Nguyen
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Thuy
tomb. The crowed of village who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in this procession all wore colorful antique costumes. After this parade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
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thurify
and worship Buddha along with midwife A in Hong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Van
temple. The atmosphere there was
really
great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there were too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
all the parade. The ceremony section is funnier and has more things to do. After the pilgrimage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outside activities such as wrestling, cooking rice examination, human chess
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most attracted activity in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
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festival
is Hat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoi
. Lien
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Anh
(male) wore
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Xep
scarf and Lien Chi (female) wore Non
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quai
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Thao
, they will sing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific songs of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
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Ninh
. These songs
are known
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quan
Ho
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ninh
which
was recognized
as an intangible cultural heritage of humanity in 2009 by UNESCO.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quan
Ho
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bac
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Ninh
is mixed
between rhythm and poem, these songs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
talk about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, the conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and objects,
also
the husband and wife life,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Until
The comma is probably missing here: "now, I".
now I
have never forgotten that flow, it always repeats in my mind when I remember about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
festival.

Beside all the attractions in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point that I do not like there. It is about the waste problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there each feast-day, the amount of trash is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
huge. Actually, I
easily
found a rubbish bin on the way I went,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a person that throws garbage in the right place. All that garbage was going to damage the environment in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pagoda
. I was
really
worried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the scene after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
went and all the things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
over in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pagoda
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
trash and garbage. I hope every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in the future will pay attention at that point and throw the garbage in the rubbish bin. This action looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
if


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thousands
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
all do that, there will not be any
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pagoda
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in the future.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
is one of the light spots in spiritual tourism of
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
, it attracts thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
each year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weakness about garbage problems, price, … I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will have solutions in the near future.
Hopefully
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
behaviors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pagoda
from rubbish and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pagoda
become a worthy place to visit.
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IELTS essay : Describe a festival that you have attended in your country. (You should mention its location, ceremony section, festival section, activities, ect. ) What do you dislike about the festival? How do you want them to be changed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
584 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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