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Describe a discovery / invention you like most.

Describe a discovery / invention you like most. kerde
Nowaday, the light net is covery whole over the world. So can you imagine how a bad day without light it is. So when I read about the discovery of “light bulb” made a strong impression to me. The inventor made the light bulb became popular and could be mass produced is Thomas Edison. He became famous because of his perseverance, thousands of trial and error, and thoudands of practical inventions. To made the light bulb had longer duration and lighter, he had made over ten thousand experiments. Then the light bulb have helped people get rid of the fear of the darkness and Edison became the greatest invention of the world.
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Nowaday
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
light
net is
Possible spelling mistake found.
covery
whole over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
can you imagine how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
day without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
light
it is.
“So when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So when
I read about the discovery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bulb”
made a strong impression to me.

The inventor made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bulb
became popular and could be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
mass produced
is Thomas Edison. He became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his perseverance, thousands of trial and error, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoudands
of practical inventions.
Did you mean "To make"?
To made
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bulb
had longer duration and lighter, he had made over ten thousand experiments. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bulb
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the fear of the darkness and Edison became the greatest invention of the world.

IELTS essay Describe a discovery / invention you like most.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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