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Describe a colourful event that you particularly enjoyed

Describe a colourful event that you particularly enjoyed 96RO3
This is a very interesting question for me. To be honest, I’ve taken part in many events in my life. However, the one that I remember the most is a colorful event in Da Nang. And today, I’d like to talk about it. Da Nang, where there are many popular activities, is in the south-central of Viet Nam. Many popular and famous activities take place here. Last year, I and my family had a trip and we visited in Da Nang, where we had many good memories. At the time, Da Nang was having a big festival therefore, we was taking part in the event. The city was colorful, which is everywhere. As far as I know, people, who is the located live here, spent a lot of time preparing for the festival. Moreover, people here are very friendly and sociable. The color covers the whole city that makes the city attract many tourists. The festival started in the evening at 7: 00pm to 11: 00pm. The event had many activities and it was popular therefore, people here and tourist join in a fun way. I and my family had a lot of pictures in there. Moreover, we were very happy and fun and we never forget this moment. At the end of event, people had a dance party together that makes them closer. In short, the festival in Da Nang is the best event of my life. I and my family had a happy time together.
This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting question for me. To be honest, I’ve taken part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in my life.
However
, the one that I remember the most is a colorful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I’d like to talk about it.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
, where there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
popular activities, is in the south-central of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
popular and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
activities take place here. Last year, I and my family had a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trip and
we visited in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
, where we had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories. At the time,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
was having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
therefore
, we
Use first person plural verb with 'we': "are", "were".
was
taking part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. The city was colorful, which is everywhere. As far as I know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who is the located
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here, spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time preparing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
here are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly and sociable. The color covers the whole city that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the city attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the evening at 7: 00pm to 11: 00pm.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities and it was popular
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
here and tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Consider replacing "in a fun way" with the adverb for "fun"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a fun way
. I and my family had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pictures in there.
Moreover
, we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fun and
we never forget this moment. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a dance party together that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them closer. In short, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
of my life. I and my family had a happy time together.

IELTS essay Describe a colourful event that you particularly enjoyed

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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