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Describe a city you visit

Describe a city you visit lRAYW
‏ Al Khobar is a medium-sized city in the eastern side of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Alkhobar beaches are bounded by the Arabian Gulf. Khobar experienced rapid growth during and after the discovery of oil in Saudi Arabia. The city quickly transformed into a residential hub and a commercial and industrial port. Moreover, It is a famous for its beautiful beaches such as Sunset Beach, Palm Beach, Al Khobar Corniche. It's also well known for its clear sea, and its organized roads, which were reflected positively on people's drove. Nevertheless, Al Khobar is famous for its abundant high quality seafood that newly fished from the Arabian Gulf. Being a residential area, Khobar is famous for its many recreational parks which are decorated with different monuments. ‏Finally, if you didn't visit Alkhobar yet, take the chance and come to visit it in the winter season where the ministry of entertainment scheduled a lot of activities that super enjoyable.
‏ Al
Khobar
is a medium-sized city in the eastern side of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
Alkhobar
beaches
are bounded
by the Arabian Gulf.
Khobar
experienced rapid growth during and after the discovery of oil in Saudi Arabia. The city
quickly
transformed into a residential hub and a commercial and industrial port.
Moreover
, It is a
famous
for its
beautiful
beaches
such as Sunset
Beach
, Palm
Beach
, Al
Khobar
Corniche
. It's
also
well known for its
clear
sea, and its organized roads, which
were reflected
positively
on
people
's drove.
Nevertheless
, Al
Khobar
is
famous
for its abundant high quality seafood that
newly
fished from the Arabian Gulf. Being a residential area,
Khobar
is
famous
for its
many
recreational parks which
are decorated
with
different
monuments. ‏
Finally
, if you didn't visit
Alkhobar
yet
, take the chance and
come
to visit it in
the winter season
where the ministry of entertainment scheduled
a lot of
activities that super enjoyable.
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IELTS essay Describe a city you visit

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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