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Democracy in India is a success or failure

Democracy in India is a success or failure B7dA9
India is a democratic country. India became a independent country on 15th August 1947. In India every citizen has a chance to choose their leader by voting them. In India every citizen have their fundamental rights. Elections are conducted here for every 5 years. Democracy is very important in human development. In India there will be no caste, religion or race differences while voting. Here in India every citizen respects the law and have a right to rise voice against the injustice. Many freedom fighters sacrificed their lives for the independence of the country and contributed a lot for the country, which we see today. India being one of the large democratic country I think it has still a long way to go. This is because of the caste system which still exists and also because of the corruption.
India is a democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. India became
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on 15th August 1947. In India every citizen has a chance to choose their leader by voting them. In India every citizen have their fundamental rights. Elections
are conducted
here for every 5 years. Democracy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in human development. In India there will be no caste, religion or race differences while voting. Here in India every citizen respects the law and have a right to rise voice against the injustice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
freedom fighters sacrificed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the independence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and contributed a lot for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. India being one of the large democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has
still
a long way to go. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the caste system which
still
exists and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the corruption.
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IELTS essay Democracy in India is a success or failure

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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