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Demand of different communication services around the world

It is shows information about communication services by category in the world from 1998 to 2008. First of all, this category is divided into five types: Landline, internet, cellular phone, fixed broadband and mobile broadband. Taking into account that development of new technologies has been growing up rapidly. Therefore, it is noticeable that this statistic follows that pattern because each type of communication is increasing every year, except for landline services. Beginning with 1998, the services have started with almost the same number which is between 0 to 15 persons per 100 inhabitants, this proportion keeps until 2002, when the quantity of costumer from cellular phone rising sharply. Since then, landline service has declined a little bit, reaching just 20 clients per 100 inhabitants. This match the trend that new technologies area heading the demand, so cellular phone services are overtaking de demand of landline services with 60 people using that type of service. It is shows information about communication services by category in the world from 1998 to 2008. First of all, this category is divided into five types: Landline, internet, cellular phone, fixed broadband and mobile broadband. Taking into account that development of new technologies has been growing up rapidly. Therefore, it is noticeable that this statistic follows that pattern because each type of communication is increasing every year, except for landline services. Beginning with 1998, the services have started with almost the same number which is between 0 to 15 persons per 100 inhabitants, this proportion keeps until 2002, when the quantity of costumer from cellular phone rising sharply. Since then, landline service has declined a little bit, reaching just 20 clients per 100 inhabitants. This match the trend that new technologies area heading the demand, so cellular phone services are overtaking de demand of landline services with 60 people using that type of service.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
in the world from 1998 to 2008.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
is divided
into five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
: Landline, internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
broadband and mobile broadband. Taking into account that development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
has been growing up
rapidly
.
Therefore
, it is noticeable that this statistic follows that pattern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is increasing every year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
landline services.

Beginning with 1998, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with almost the same number which is
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 0 to 15
persons per 100 inhabitants, this proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
until 2002, when the quantity of costumer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
rising
sharply
. Since then, landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has declined a
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
, reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
20 clients per 100 inhabitants.

This match the trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
An apostrophe may be missing.
technologies
area heading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are overtaking
Possible spelling mistake found.
de
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
with 60
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
in the world from 1998 to 2008.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
is divided
into five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
: Landline, internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
broadband and mobile broadband. Taking into account that development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
has been growing up
rapidly
.
Therefore
, it is noticeable that this statistic follows that pattern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is increasing every year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
landline services.

Beginning with 1998, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with almost the same number which is
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 0 to 15
persons per 100 inhabitants, this proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
until 2002, when the quantity of costumer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
rising
sharply
. Since then, landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has declined a
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
, reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
20 clients per 100 inhabitants.

This match the trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
An apostrophe may be missing.
technologies
area heading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are overtaking
Possible spelling mistake found.
de
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
with 60
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
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IELTS essay Demand of different communication services around the world

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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