Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Cutting-edge technology introduces a large amount of games which have dangerous effect on children both mentally and physically

Cutting-edge technology introduces a large amount of games which have dangerous effect on children both mentally and physically J0XpB
Cutting-edge technology introduces a large amount of games which have dangerous effect on children both mentally and physically. This essay will represent firstly problems induced by playing games, secondly remedies to tackle those issues. On the one hand, nowadays children prefer to sit in front of a pc rather than to go out and play with their peers. Therefore, this sedentary life makes them far away from socializing, so they get depressed in this isolated life. Moreover, lack of physical activity causes obesity which affects children's self-esteem. Additionally, poor eye-vision stems from looking at a monitor for long hours. On the other hand, to prevent any diseases which are caused by a passive lifestyle, some resolutions should be made. For instance, teachers, parents or some figureheads who are popular among children, should try to raise awareness about foreseen issues produced by playing computer games. What is more, some health warnings should be stuck on pc or laptops in order to inform children about expected health problems. Recently, some high-income countries have started to apply writtens above. So, just in one month, most of the children recovered. To sum up, inactive life as per children’s interest in games on computer creates potential risks for them both physically and mentally. As for the solution, children should be warned about health issues introduced by risks.
Cutting-edge technology introduces a large amount of
games
which have
dangerous
effect on
children
both mentally and
physically
. This essay will represent
firstly
problems induced by playing
games
,
secondly
remedies to tackle those issues.

On the one hand, nowadays
children
prefer to sit in front of a
pc
rather
than to go out and play with their peers.
Therefore
, this sedentary life
makes
them far away from socializing,
so
they
get
depressed in this isolated life.
Moreover
, lack of physical activity causes obesity which affects children's self-esteem.
Additionally
, poor eye-vision stems from looking at a monitor for long hours.

On the other hand
, to
prevent
any diseases which
are caused
by a passive lifestyle,
some
resolutions should
be made
.
For instance
, teachers, parents or
some
figureheads who are popular among
children
, should try to raise awareness about foreseen issues produced by playing computer
games
.
What is more
,
some
health warnings should
be stuck
on
pc
or laptops in order to inform
children
about
expected
health problems. Recently,
some
high-income countries have
started
to apply
writtens
above.
So
,
just
in one month, most of the
children
recovered.

To sum up, inactive life as per
children’s
interest in
games
on computer creates potential
risks
for them both
physically
and mentally. As for the solution,
children
should
be warned
about health issues introduced by
risks
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Cutting-edge technology introduces a large amount of games which have dangerous effect on children both mentally and physically

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: