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CURRENTLY PEOPLE TEND TO USE MOBILE PHONES IN THEIR DAILY LIFE AND ITS TENDENCY IS INCRASING EVERY DAY. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS v.1

CURRENTLY PEOPLE TEND TO USE MOBILE PHONES IN THEIR DAILY LIFE AND ITS TENDENCY IS INCRASING EVERY DAY. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS v. 1
The development tendency of the frequent usage of devices, such as mobile phones, has significantly risen in recent years due to the technological acceleration. From my perspective, there are several positive and negative aspects that stem from ongoing impact of this new fashion. Predominantly, there are two principal advantages associated with the advent of this technological trend. Firstly, in the contemporary world, cellulars are indispensable part of the communication system, inextricably linked to humans daily errands, especially at work. Moreover, mobile phones are multifunctional devices that besides communication facilities, also include features of camera, video recording and device for amusement, thereby streamline peoples life. Despite the fact of tremendous helpful effects of mobile phones, simultaneously there are two drawbacks of phone usage, deteriorating the quality of human life. Permanently, peoples organisms suffer from the common consumption of this device, because of its negative impact on the health. Knock –on- effect of pathological processes associated with the pernicious effects of waves, emitting from mobile phones is one of the modern problems. These waves badly afflict on the physiological condition of a consumer and by increasing stressful factors result in formation of ongoing fatigue, weakness and ache. Supplemental disadvantage is an inappropriate using of mobile phones in the modern society. Due to total preoccupation of human consciousness with cellular, it could lead to an abatement of productivity of people. Thus, an overall development of human's personality is decreased. To sum up the above opinions, my consideration about this topic would be that, people should find a middle ground between two mentioned effects and do not abuse the phones.
The development tendency of the frequent usage of
devices
, such as mobile
phones
, has
significantly
risen in recent years due to the technological acceleration. From my perspective, there are several
positive
and
negative
aspects that stem from ongoing impact of this new fashion.

Predominantly
, there are two principal advantages associated with the advent of this technological trend.
Firstly
, in the contemporary world, cellulars are indispensable part of the communication system,
inextricably
linked to humans daily errands,
especially
at work.
Moreover
, mobile
phones
are multifunctional
devices
that
besides
communication facilities,
also
include features of camera, video recording and
device
for amusement, thereby streamline
peoples
life.

Despite the fact of tremendous helpful effects of mobile
phones
,
simultaneously
there are two drawbacks of
phone
usage, deteriorating the quality of human life.
Permanently
,
peoples
organisms suffer from the common consumption of this
device
,
because
of its
negative
impact on the health. Knock –on-
effect
of pathological processes associated with the pernicious effects of waves, emitting from mobile
phones
is one of the modern problems. These waves
badly
afflict on the physiological condition of a consumer and by increasing stressful factors result in formation of ongoing fatigue, weakness and ache. Supplemental disadvantage is an inappropriate using of mobile
phones
in the modern society. Due to total preoccupation of human consciousness with cellular, it could lead to an abatement of productivity of
people
.
Thus
, an
overall
development of human's personality
is decreased
.

To sum up the above opinions, my consideration about this topic would be that,
people
should find a middle ground between two mentioned effects and do not abuse the
phones
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay CURRENTLY PEOPLE TEND TO USE MOBILE PHONES IN THEIR DAILY LIFE AND ITS TENDENCY IS INCRASING EVERY DAY. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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