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Criminals should be sent is rehabilitation instead of prison. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Provide your argument.

Criminals should be sent is rehabilitation instead of prison. Provide your argument. GMl5x
I disagree with the statement that, criminals should be sent is rehabilitation instead of prison. I do not agree with this statement because this method can create chaos in society. Some reasons that I can mention are, possibility of increasing criminal activities in the society, the overload population in rehabilitation, the doubt about the changed attitude of mastermind criminals, etc. First of all, if the criminals are aware that, there will be no punishment for a crime, and they are going to be sent in a rehabilitation center for overcoming their minds, then there will be a significant amount of increasing crimes in the society. As for now, the criminals have a fear to be locked up in prison and to get severe punishments like imprisonment or death order for severe crimes. If it is permitted that any criminals regardless their crimes, will be sent is the rehabilitation, then the criminals will not have the fear anymore. So, crime rate will be increased knowing that, there will be no punishments. Secondly, the rehabilitation centers are the places where generally, actual criminals are not diagnosed, rather mostly, crimes that are committed by children, teenagers, women for their protection, or people who are normally not the mastermind or professional killers but, committed a crime in the hit of the moment. Also, these people can be cured with a rehabilitation treatment for a time being where they promise to go back as they were and they do. Instead, the mastermind criminals, professional criminals, or serial killers have a very complicated mind which is very difficult to cure with only the help of rehabilitation. Besides, if they are given a treatment and permitted to be free, they have the possibility to start their crimes again. The people and doctors related to the rehabilitation centers, have to be very much patient with their patients. Some criminals do not deserve to be in the treatment, rather they should be hanged. Thirdly, some criminals are never bound to be changed. Previously, we have seen examples of different criminals, how they were freed, and they had started committing crime again. Also, according to the record, some serial killers stared killing people again whenever, they got the chances. International mafia, illegal business holders, black market traders and so many criminals are looking for the opportunity to commit crime. So, it is very difficult for the rehabilitation centers to overcome their attitude because the criminals are never intend to be changed. That is why, rehabilitation centers are not the only solution for every crime, just like one shoe does not fit all. In conclusion, rehabilitation centers try to counsel the amature criminals who are not professionals. That is why, these centers are effective for them. On the contrary, if professional criminals are also given the chance of counselling without any punishment, the rate of crimes possibly will be increased rather than decreasing. That is why, criminals should not be sent is rehabilitation instead of prison.
I disagree with the statement that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
instead
of prison. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this method can create chaos in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
reasons that I can mention are, possibility of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities in the society, the overload population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
, the doubt about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
attitude of mastermind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, etc.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are aware that, there will be no punishment for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and they are going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
center for overcoming their minds, then there will be a significant amount of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the society. As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have a fear to
be locked
up in prison and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
severe punishments like imprisonment or death order for severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. If it
is permitted
that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
regardless their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will not have the fear anymore.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate will
be increased
knowing that, there will be no punishments.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are the places where
generally
, actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not diagnosed,
rather
mostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that
are committed
by children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, women for their protection, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
normally
not the mastermind or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
killers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the hit of the moment.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be cured
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
treatment for a time being where they promise to go back as they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
were and
they do.
Instead
, the mastermind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, or serial killers have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated mind which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to cure with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
.
Besides
, if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a treatment and permitted to be free, they have the possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and doctors related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much patient with their patients.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
do not deserve to be in the treatment,
rather
they should
be hanged
.

Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are never bound to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Previously, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
examples of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, how they
were freed
, and they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again.
Also
, according to the record,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serial killers stared killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
again whenever, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chances. International mafia, illegal business holders, black market traders and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are looking for the opportunity to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
to overcome their attitude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are never
Consider using a past participle here: "intended".
intend
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like one shoe does not fit all.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
try to counsel the
Possible spelling mistake found.
amature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
.
That is
why, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are effective for them.
On the contrary
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance of counselling without any punishment, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
possibly
will
be increased
rather
than decreasing.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
instead
of prison.
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IELTS essay Criminals should be sent is rehabilitation instead of prison. Provide your argument.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
495 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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