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criminals and keeping them in prison and there

criminals and keeping them in prison and there xgaY6
People have different views about criminals and keeping them in prison and there are those who believe that some of them can help communities by doing unsalaried work. Personally, I agree with the idea that some criminals can be beneficial for society by acting as a role model and I try to support my argument in the essay below. criminals can be useful to their society by doing volunteer works. From their point of view, they can act as a deterrent by discouraging people from doing crimes. For instance, in some drug-related crimes, addicts can help local communities in order to increase public awareness about the consequences of drug use instead of keeping them in prison. As a result, it can lead to reduce crime rate and help society to have a positive attitude towards some crimes. On the other hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that criminals should be kept in prison so as to society be safe. They insist that some criminals pose a threat to society. To facilitate this situation, they should severely be punished in prison to ensure the safety of other citizens. However, I believe prison fines always do not act as a deterrent. For example, in several countries like Iran, criminals are put together and make friends with other offenders in prisons. As a result, it is probably that re-offend when they are released. To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the merits of doing unpaid work by criminals are more prominent. It can help raise public awareness and may lead to decreasing crime rates.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and keeping them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and there are those who believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
communities by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsalaried
work.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can be beneficial for
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society
by acting as a role model and I try to support my argument in the essay below.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
criminals
can be useful to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
volunteer works. From their point of view, they can act as a deterrent by discouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
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crimes
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drug-related
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crimes
, addicts can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
local communities in order to increase public awareness about the consequences of drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instead
of keeping them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
As a result
, it can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
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crime
rate and
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help
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society
to have a
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positive
attitude towards
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some
crimes.

On the other hand
, there are those who subscribe to the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
be safe. They insist that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To facilitate this situation, they should
severely
be punished
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to ensure the safety of other citizens.
However
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
fines always do not act as a deterrent.
For example
, in several countries like Iran,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are put
together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with other offenders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
As a result
, it is
probably
that re-offend when they
are released
.

To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
unpaid work by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are more prominent. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
raise public awareness and may lead to decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
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IELTS essay criminals and keeping them in prison and there

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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