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crime is increasing day by day. so what are the causes and solutions to control the problem?

crime is increasing day by day. so what are the causes and solutions to control the problem? mbL1n
In the present era, the issue of crime is very burning as it is burgeoning day and day. There are various factors which gives birth to crime like unemployment and promotion of weapons. so, in order to eradicate this problem government should take some action as well they should develop the job opportunities which consequently sought out the issue. I will shed some light on the reason and solution in the formulating paragraphs. To begin with, there are numerous reason of the problem. The foremost reason is promotion of weapons. Meaning that, nowadays in the movies as well as in the songs the people are promoting the weapons by showing their usage to public which consequently gives birth to crime. For instance, in marriages people prefer to do firing with guns in order to show their happiness and also they like to do it in fun. Moreover, it sometime take it into serious matter when someone loses it life. Addition to this, unemployement is also the another reason of crime. To explain with, the people are not getting the jobs as per their education and they become the victim of crime in order to earn money for their livelihood. For example, youth divert their mind towards sneaching the things so that they may earn some money after selling it and fulfill their needs. Nevertheless, there are certain actions which government should opt to reduce the issue. Firstly, the government should impose penalty as well as punishment to those who commit crime so that no other person come forward with the same problem. Furthermore, the government should also establish the job opportunites for the youth so that they can do work and earn something for themselves and also for their families. with it, their mind will never divert toward wrong this as they remain busy in their work. what is more, the government should have the responsibility to develop training programs for uneducated people so that they can easily learn how to do work and fulfill their aim. In the light of aforementioned points, i reiterate by saying that crime is a biggest issue in this modern era. so, everyone should try to get rid from it by making themselves busy in their daily routines and doing something creative.
In the present era, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
burning as it is burgeoning day and day. There are various factors which gives birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like unemployment and promotion of weapons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, in order to eradicate this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action
as well
they should develop the job opportunities which
consequently
sought out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and solution in the formulating paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of the problem. The foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is promotion of weapons. Meaning that, nowadays in the movies
as well
as in the songs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are promoting the weapons by showing their usage to public which
consequently
gives birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
, in marriages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go firing".
do firing
with guns in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their happiness and
also
they like to do it in fun.
Moreover
, it sometime
Did you mean "takes"?
take
it into serious matter when someone loses it life. Addition to this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployement
is
also
the another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting the jobs as per their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they become the victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to earn money for their livelihood.
For example
, youth divert their mind towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
sneaching
the things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money after selling it and fulfill their needs.

Nevertheless
, there are certain actions which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should impose penalty
as well
as punishment to those who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no other person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward with the same problem.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
establish the job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
for the youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can do work and earn something for themselves and
also
for their families.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
it, their mind will never divert toward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
this as they remain busy in their work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
is more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have the responsibility to develop training programs for uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
learn how to do work and fulfill their aim.

In the light of aforementioned points,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
reiterate by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in this modern era.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, everyone should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "rid" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "rid of"?
rid from
it by making themselves busy in their daily routines and doing something creative.
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IELTS essay crime is increasing day by day. so what are the causes and solutions to control the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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