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Countries became more developed due to mix of different people and their culture. Do you agree Or disagree?

Countries became more developed due to mix of different people and their culture. exMV
In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that, nations emerge as other promote by mix of various citizens and their culture. I completely agree with this given statement and I will discuss reasons in the upcoming paragraph. To commence with, there are myriad of benefits, the most common one is in a state with across cultural ethic, public locations, amenities and tourists place were created considering all and tourists place were created considering all people, such as: shopping malls, amusement centres, beaches. By the mean that, public areas became more attractive. The towns became international towns and keep of really diverse culture and customs. For instance, according to survey of "Times of India" in many countries, many nationalities dwell jointly and carrying this in your mind, a global village was fashioned to them. Moreover, if some country is using mix culture so not only grow up tourism facilities but also rise up economically. Furthermore, better for the total progress of a nation. That is perhaps why countries like because their GDP growth is higher as well as educationly more helpful. Hence, humans from different backgrounds have different things to offer in items of ideas, experience and expertise. For example, according to "BBC" news 80% of counties prefer mix cultures as well as various people so more new ideas generated and their country with diverse nationalities develops faster. In summary, it is true that, if countries are using more various ethnic backgrounds so our country more fascinating and it is many unique advantages. So, it is a magical attraction for so many people all over the world.
In this concurrent world, it is
undoubtedly
true that, nations emerge as other promote by mix of various citizens and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and I will discuss reasons in the upcoming paragraph.

To commence with, there are myriad of benefits, the most common one is in a state with across cultural ethic, public locations, amenities and tourists place
were created
considering all and tourists place
were created
considering all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, such as: shopping malls, amusement
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, beaches. By the mean that, public areas became more attractive. The towns became international towns and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
of
really
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs.
For instance
, according to survey of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Times of India
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nationalities dwell
jointly
and carrying this in your mind, a global village
was fashioned
to them.

Moreover
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is using mix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
grow up tourism facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
rise up
economically
.
Furthermore
, better for the total progress of a nation.
That is
perhaps why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their GDP growth is higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as
Possible spelling mistake found.
educationly
more helpful.
Hence
, humans from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things to offer in items of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, experience and expertise.
For example
, according to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
BBC
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
news 80% of counties prefer mix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as well
as various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
generated and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with diverse nationalities develops faster.

In summary, it is true that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are using more various ethnic backgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more fascinating and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unique advantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a magical attraction for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world.
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IELTS essay Countries became more developed due to mix of different people and their culture.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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