Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Xr0q
Different people have different mentality. So according to some people, children should be allowed to decide what they should eat, wear and watch. However, others reckon that children who allowed to make decisions, due to this, they turn himself into selfish individuals. I will discuss both the views in upcoming paragraphs and give my opinion. To start with, children who take decisions according to their lifestyle and career, due to this they can learn how to take responsibility for any actions. This way can help them to take success. A recent survey conducted by “The Children” magazine reveals that 80% of parents give permission to their children to make their own decisions and fulfil their own wishes, by the virtue of, they make their children more strong, who always ready to deal with conflicts and challanges. In this way, individuals should allowed to juveniles to make their own decisions. On the contrary, if children have freedom to make their own choices, due to this, they turn into selfish individuals and they looses their emotions. For example – if a child allow to watch their favourite T. V. show whenever he wants to, he does not consider that other member of the family want to watch on T. V. . In this way, if his family allow him to do this way, he will definitely become a selfish person. But, if parents sets the limit of the freedom then children take decisions without being selfish. To wind up, I believe that children should allow to take their own decisions, when parents teach them to respect the feelings of others and also parents should sets the limit of freedom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mentality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to decide what they should eat, wear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
However
, others reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, due to this, they turn himself into selfish individuals. I will discuss both the views in upcoming paragraphs and give my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
according to their lifestyle and career, due to this they can learn how to take responsibility for any actions. This way can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to take success. A recent survey conducted by “The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children”
magazine reveals that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give permission to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and fulfil their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes, by the virtue of, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more strong, who always ready to deal with conflicts and
Possible spelling mistake found.
challanges
. In this way, individuals should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
to juveniles to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

On the contrary
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices, due to this, they turn into selfish
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
individuals and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "loose"
looses
their emotions.
For example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
if a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
T. V.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
whenever he wants to, he does not consider that other member of the family want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on T. V.
Two consecutive dots
.
In this way, if his family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to do this way, he will definitely become a selfish person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
sets the limit of the freedom then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without being selfish.

To wind up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teach them to respect the feelings of others and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "set"
sets
the limit of freedom.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts