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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? lj8qW
It is true that due to the advancement of technology, same kind of products is available all around the globe. So, that they can purchase the similar products at any place without much efforts. I believe that this is a positive development for the prosperous growth of the country. Countries are being developing while producing the latest products around the universe. Because, people are not able to travel to the other nations to purchase the products which are interested in it. As a result of that many industries are evolved to fulfill the dreams of the customers, to get the products available at their own place. For instance, iphone is the most popular band in electronics industry. Although its parts are made in China and assembled in the USA, it distributes the products all around the universe. Therefore, every individual has an availability of similar products at their door step. In contrast, there is no differentiation between the countries, if the same goods are available all parts of the world. Some people might feel bored, because there is no special thing for their own nation. For example, if a person likes to travel to other countries to found some special things and he may experience a bad situation, because he did not find anything new to him. So, there should be some popular products which are special to each and every other nation. To conclude, as the persuasive discussion, in my opinion, availability of similar products all around the world to purchase is a positive development. Because, it reduces our travel efforts and saves money for the future.
It is true that due to the advancement of technology, same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is available all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the globe.
“So , that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, that
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at any place without
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
efforts. I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for the prosperous growth of the country.

Countries are being developing while producing the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the universe.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to travel to the other nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are interested
in it.
As a result
of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries
are evolved
to fulfill the dreams of the customers, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
is the most popular band in electronics industry. Although its parts
are made
in China and assembled in the USA, it distributes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the universe.
Therefore
, every individual has an availability of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at their door step.

In contrast
, there is no differentiation between the countries, if the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are available all parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might feel bored,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no special thing for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation.
For example
, if a person likes to travel to other countries to found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
he may experience a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did not find anything new to him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are special to each and every other nation.

To conclude
, as the persuasive discussion, in my opinion, availability of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
our travel efforts and saves money for the future.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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