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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? DQ2W
In today's globalization-focussed world, international corporations have opened their sheer cost branches in every corner of the world's regions which maximises the same products everywhere and this consequence is able to change people's livelihood with similarity of goods. In my opinion, it is barely concievable that this regulation leads us to intolerably high aspects of drawbacks. To begin with, unaffordable cases of similarity in goods disrupt to cultural identities which is disappearing cause of unenforceable impact of manufacturing the same consumer stuffs. It is inescapable fact that as globalization affect leads us to altering our lives and our tradition, large industries of developed countries are gradually removed other countries' traditional sources by their investment which is inevitable happening. For example, in many developing countries, other developed countries are selling their own goods by being disarmed their traditional products. As a result, among people, forgetting their culture and ethnicity are occuring. On the other hand, buying the same consumer goods everywhere is bad for local economy and their outputs. As their aim restructure their outsources by breaking other countries' development, may lead them redundancy or downsize their corporations. Consequently, it undergo also joblessness rate among companies which are trying to compete against other parts of the world with their investments. To conclude, the disadvantages overweigh the benefits when people begin to buy the same thing all around the world. In this scenario, the cultural heritage will be destroyed and the unemployment rate will rise.
In
today
's globalization-focussed world, international corporations have opened their sheer cost branches in every corner of the world's regions which
maximises
the same products everywhere and this consequence is able to
change
people
's livelihood with similarity of
goods
. In my opinion, it is
barely
concievable
that this regulation leads us to
intolerably
high aspects of drawbacks.

To
begin
with, unaffordable cases of similarity in
goods
disrupt to cultural identities which is disappearing cause of unenforceable impact of manufacturing the same consumer stuffs. It is inescapable fact that as globalization affect leads us to altering our
lives
and our tradition, large industries of
developed countries
are
gradually
removed
other
countries' traditional sources by their investment which is inevitable happening.
For example
, in
many
developing countries
,
other
developed countries
are selling their
own
goods
by
being disarmed
their traditional products.
As a result
, among
people
, forgetting their culture and ethnicity are
occuring
.

On the
other
hand, buying the same consumer
goods
everywhere is
bad
for local economy and their outputs. As their aim restructure their outsources by breaking
other
countries' development, may lead them redundancy or downsize their corporations.
Consequently
, it
undergo
also
joblessness rate among
companies
which are trying to compete against
other
parts of the world with their investments.

To conclude
, the disadvantages
overweigh
the benefits when
people
begin
to
buy
the same thing all around the world. In this scenario, the cultural heritage will be
destroyed
and the unemployment rate will rise.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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