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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classroom, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. Argue both sides, and give your opinion. v.3

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classroom, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. Argue both sides, and give your opinion. v. 3 2mVM
Nowadays, computers are one of the biggest inventions of modern technology that gives ample of advantages to people all over the globe. It has been said that the exposure of computers should be used for education purposes which benefited the teachers and students in their everyday life. However, some opposed this notion for several reasons. The leading benefit of computers is it is accessible to all people in boosting in-depth knowledge. Since loads of assignments and researches are given to students in school, computers are easy to used by all in searching for their topics as well as gaining some information that are essential in their educational learning. Apart from that, different analytical skills are developed in using computer frequently. The usage of computer helps individuals to develop critical thinking, communication, research and data analysis that allows them to find solutions to certain problems. To illustrate, the international students used laptop frequently to aid them in answering tricky questions in different subjects and support their answers by giving definite information. In the flip side, computers give numerous health risks to students. It is because they are exposed to severe radiation that cause health consequences like severe headaches, infertility and even irritation to the body. Aside from that, students are prone to internet addiction using the computer. Since they used the internet the whole day for several entertainments and researches, most students are isolated and skip their meals which largely affect their connection to people and health. For instance, due to loads of works at school and game addiction, students soaked on the computer as well as hinder them from making friends. On the whole, computers are largely accessible to all age groups and develop critical thinking that is indispensible for individuals. However, the risk of health and addiction causes severe disadvantages. I therefore conclude that even though there are effects happening in using computers, it gives a lot of advantages in making humanity's life worthwhile.
Nowadays, computers are one of the biggest inventions of modern technology that gives ample of advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the globe. It has
been said
that the exposure of computers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for education purposes which benefited the teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their everyday life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opposed this notion for several reasons.

The leading benefit of computers is it is accessible to all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in boosting in-depth knowledge. Since loads of assignments and researches are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in school, computers are easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by all in searching for their topics
as well
as gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information that are essential in their educational learning. Apart from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are developed
in using computer
frequently
. The usage of computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to develop critical thinking, communication, research and data analysis that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to find solutions to certain problems. To illustrate, the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
laptop
frequently
to aid them in answering tricky questions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects and support their answers by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
information.

In the flip side, computers give numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are exposed
to severe radiation that cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "like". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences like
severe headaches, infertility and even irritation to the body. Aside from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are prone to internet addiction using the computer. Since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet the whole day for several entertainments and researches, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are isolated
and skip their meals which
largely
affect their connection to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, due to loads of works at school and game addiction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
soaked on the computer
as well
as hinder them from making friends.

On the whole
, computers are
largely
accessible to all age groups and develop critical thinking
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
for individuals.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and addiction causes severe disadvantages. I
therefore
conclude that
even though
there are effects happening in using computers, it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages in making humanity's life worthwhile.
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IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classroom, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. Argue both sides, and give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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