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"Computer games are more harmful than beneficial" You agree or not?

"Computer games are more harmful than beneficial" You agree or not? 0BW39
Computer games play an important role in entertainment. Nowadays, video games attract a lot of children because they are interesting. However, adults always think that computer games are more harmful than beneficial. As a person in generation Z who grew up in modern society, I disagree with this idea because video games bring us a lot of advantages. I would like to give you four obvious advantages. Firstly, computer games help children develop skills. If children know how to solve their problems, they can get over obstacles in their life if they play video games. As you know, there are a lot of difficulties in video games. Children can find their own way to win the game. In contrast, they learn from their failures in the game, and they can replay it many times. It helps to increase their creativity because they should think of a way to win video games. Secondly, it’s an interesting solution to learn foreign languages. Children can change the language that they are learning in the setting box. In video games, there are different stories about characters, and they can read them. In addition, video games develop their listening and speaking skills. Children listen to characters’ voices to understand them. They can play with a foreign friend to improve their speaking skills. Thirdly, children can have a relaxing moment after a long day's work. According to a scientific report, playing video games is a solution to reduce stress and depression. It’s also the best way to connect all members of a family, and when we win the game, our brain produces a hormone called "Dopamine, " or we also known as the hormone of happiness. In my view, games give us a mental advantage. In conclusion, playing video games for a limited time will bring us a lot of advantages. However, we mustn’t play video games for hours and hours. It's very harmful for our eyes and brains because of the blue light effect.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in entertainment. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
attract a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are interesting.
However
, adults always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more harmful than beneficial. As a person in generation Z who grew up in modern society, I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring us a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages. I would like to give you four obvious advantages.

Firstly
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. If
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children
know how to solve their problems, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over obstacles in their life if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. As you know, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to win the game.
In contrast
, they learn from their failures in the game, and they can replay it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase their creativity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a way to win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games.

Secondly
, it’s an interesting solution to learn foreign languages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the language that they are learning in the setting box. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stories about characters, and they can read them.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
develop their listening and speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
listen to characters’ voices to understand them. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with a foreign friend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have a relaxing moment after a long day's work. According to a scientific report, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression. It’s
also
the best way to connect all members of a family, and when we win the game, our brain produces a hormone called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Dopamine,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
or we
also
known as the hormone of happiness. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
give us a mental advantage.

In conclusion
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for a limited time will bring us a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages.
However
, we mustn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for hours and hours. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for our eyes and brains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the blue light effect.
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IELTS essay "Computer games are more harmful than beneficial" You agree or not?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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