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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. 9Ne7
Nowadays some people believe that being a graduate is key to get a good job while others think that having experience and soft skill are better. In my view, having university education is essential for academic jobs while experience and soft skills are more helpful in business. On one hand. People having a belief that to secure a good job, a university graduate is one step forward from those who don’t have a degree. The competition can easily show the deciding factor for people future work opportunities by increasing number of graduated and hugs number willing to enroll themselves for universities. On the other hand, having work experience as well as soft skills, gives a balance in the favor of applicant, according to some. Although for many applicants it is often thought that having a relevant experience and soft skills will be valuable for the company and will provide the key to success when applying. Finally in my point of view both education/graduated from university or having experience and soft skills both are essential for securing a good job, even though it depends on the position you are applying for. For instance if the person applying for any medial field or teaching position it is impossible to considered for such positions without having educational background, where as a person applying for any marketing job it would be more important tom have a soft skills as well as experienced in relent field In conclusion, both are essential factors for the job depending on the position applied for. Relevant background is required for getting a suitable job either in experience or education. People should make sure they apply for a job which can attain the skills or degree accordingly
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
believe that being a graduate is key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
are better. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
university education is essential for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more helpful in business.

On one hand.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a belief that to secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, a university graduate is one step forward from those who don’t have a degree. The competition can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the deciding factor for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
future work opportunities by increasing number of graduated and hugs number willing to enroll themselves for universities.

On the other hand
,
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having
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, gives a balance in the favor of applicant, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. Although for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applicants it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will be valuable for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and will provide the key to success when applying.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
in my point of view both education/graduated from university or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
both are essential for securing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
even though
it depends on the
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position
you are applying for.
For instance
if the person applying for any medial field or teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
it is impossible to considered for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
educational background,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
a person applying for any marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tom have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "skill"?
skills
as well
as experienced in relent
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
field


In conclusion
, both are essential factors for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
applied for. Relevant background
is required
for getting a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
either in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
or education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they apply for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which can attain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or degree
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
accordingly
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IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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