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compare to contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society.

compare to contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. pRay3
Science and art are considered as the basic structure of our society. Thus scientists and artists contribute essential roles in our society. Which are people’s lifestyle and people’s thoughts? Firstly, when we examine the oldest societies we are informed the enchanting role of art in the development of people. To illustrate people who lived in the past communicate each other with the pictures they draw and also there are a lot of historical artefacts we know about societies in ancient times. Likewise, scientists indicate their struggle to bring comfort to our lives. They found new products which are improving our quality growth each day. For example, almost all huge machines to kitchen equipment that we use in our daily activity. As technology advances, scientific developments began to affect people's lives positively. Electricity can be given as an example Secondly, most of artists and scientists influenced the opinions of the public during their lifetime like Beethoven and Edison. Beethoven, who was a musician and then suffered a health problem and became deaf, but this did not affect his music heart and he composed the 9th symphony. Edison’s school life was full of failures and expelled from school, but this did not affect his curiosity in science. These situations made people realize that they could do whatever they wanted despite the difficulties they faced. In conclusion, artists and scientists have contributed to people throughout history. Especially people’s soul and opinions. As I mention that artists and scientists are vital to our society.
Science and art
are considered
as the basic structure of our
society
.
Thus
scientists
and
artists
contribute essential roles in our
society
. Which are
people’s
lifestyle and
people’s
thoughts?

Firstly
, when we examine the oldest
societies
we
are informed
the enchanting role of art in the development of
people
. To illustrate
people
who
lived
in the past communicate each other with the pictures they draw and
also
there are
a lot of
historical
artefacts
we know about
societies
in ancient times.
Likewise
,
scientists
indicate their struggle to bring comfort to our
lives
. They found new products which are improving our quality growth each day.
For example
, almost all huge machines to kitchen equipment that we
use
in our daily activity. As technology advances, scientific developments began to affect
people
's
lives
positively
. Electricity can be
given
as an
example


Secondly
, most of
artists
and
scientists
influenced the opinions of the public during their lifetime like Beethoven and Edison. Beethoven, who was a musician and then suffered a health problem and became deaf,
but
this did not affect his music
heart and
he composed the 9th symphony. Edison’s school life was full of failures and expelled from school,
but
this did not affect his curiosity in science. These situations made
people
realize that they could do whatever they wanted despite the difficulties they faced.

In conclusion
,
artists
and
scientists
have contributed to
people
throughout history.
Especially
people’s
soul and opinions. As I mention that
artists
and
scientists
are vital to our
society
.
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IELTS essay compare to contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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