Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Compare the two plans of the Grange park, one from ts opening in 1920, the other from the present.

Compare the two plans of the Grange park, one from ts opening in 1920, the other from the present. MMrwq
There are many reasons behind the rise /increase in the number of start-up companies. To begin with, people face difficulty acquiring a job of their preference / liking in the highly competitive market. Individuals who want to work in an esteemed organization or a well paid job needs to possess high academic qualification degrees or years of work experience. Such requirements already disqualify a large section of job hunters. Next, a few people desire to become rich in shorter-period. To illustrate this, a business can earn a person a hefty sum of money overnight as all the profit goes to the pocket of the owner. However, there are several drawbacks to this. To start with, there is no guarantee that a self employed person will earn enough to live a comfortable life. When people work for a company, they have the assurance of a guaranteed paycheck at the end of the month; however, when they work for themselves this guarantee is missing. Another disadvantage is that many self employed people work day and night and do not get time to spend with their family and friends. Thus, it creates an imbalance in their work and personal life. Moreover, a huge difference can be seen in their daily routine which affects their health adversely. To recapitulate, working for oneself is definitely beneficial for young people because it enables them to work on their own terms; however, there are drawbacks such as the lack of a guaranteed paycheck that need to be considered before choosing to be an entrepreneur. In conclusion the both plans shows that some of the park features are transformed or replaced, but the main idea is the same.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind the rise /increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face difficulty acquiring a job of their preference / liking in the
highly
competitive market. Individuals who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an esteemed organization or a well paid job needs to possess high academic qualification degrees or years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience. Such requirements already disqualify a large section of job hunters.
Next
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to become rich in shorter-period. To illustrate this, a business can earn a person a hefty sum of money overnight as all the profit goes to the pocket of the owner.

However
, there are several drawbacks to this. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
that a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
person will earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they have the assurance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guaranteed
paycheck at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month;
however
, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guarantee
is missing. Another disadvantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and night and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to spend with their family and friends.
Thus
, it creates an imbalance in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal life.
Moreover
, a huge difference can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in their daily routine which affects their health
adversely
.

To recapitulate, working for oneself is definitely beneficial for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enables them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
terms;
however
, there are drawbacks such as the lack of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guaranteed
paycheck that need to
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing to be an entrepreneur.
In conclusion
the both plans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
park features
are transformed
or replaced,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the same.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Compare the two plans of the Grange park, one from ts opening in 1920, the other from the present.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts