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Compare the advantages and disadvantages of radio, television and films.state which you consider to be the most effective.

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of radio, television and films. state which you consider to be the most effective. pe73y
Since globalisation and industrialisation, many tools appeared, for example, radio, television and films. Therefore, I would like to write pros and cons of these topics. The essay below will explain my opinions on this discussion. In the beginning, let’s look at the advantages of these topics. When the radio, television and films were invented abundant people become more cultured and more intelligent people. For instance, before people have not these tools people learn to any information with the newspaper and when speaking face to face with your friends and with other people as well as, in this century people are enjoying them. For example, people are watching the news, listening to funny radio programs and watching the movie. In addition, people learn various cultures and languages with documentaries and watching different tv shows. On the other hand, these devices have numerous cons. In my opinion. If people spend a lot of hours watching and listening with tools people have some diseases. For example, obesity, vision disease and particularly people become an associate person on the other hand, when who spending a lot of time with these devices people become to so aggressive and bully because people are addicted them likewise, in my view, these problems are especially harmful to all children because children are so affected to harmful cartoon films. Furthermore, parents are do not let them spend a lot of time with these devices. When everything is taken into account as far as I am concerned, these devices have abundant harm but in my opinion, The globalisation with these devices are so useful for people because us learning the world.
Since
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tools appeared,
for example
, radio, television and films.
Therefore
, I would like to write pros and cons of these topics. The essay below will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinions on this discussion.

In the beginning,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s look at the advantages of these topics. When the radio, television and films
were invented
abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more cultured and more intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not these tools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn to any information with the newspaper and when speaking face to face with your friends and with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as, in this century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are watching the news, listening to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
radio programs and watching the movie.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn various cultures and languages with documentaries and watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

On the other hand
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have numerous cons. In my opinion. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hours watching and listening with tools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.
For example
, obesity, vision disease and
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become an associate person
on the other hand
, when who spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
aggressive and bully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
them
likewise
, in my view, these problems are
especially
harmful to all children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to harmful cartoon films.
Furthermore
, parents are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with these devices.

When everything
is taken
into account as far as I
am concerned
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have abundant harm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, The
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
us learning the world.
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IELTS essay Compare the advantages and disadvantages of radio, television and films. state which you consider to be the most effective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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