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Compare doctors and firefighters

Compare doctors and firefighters 0MWQG
Do you think that doctors are the same to firefighters? Everyone usually answers no, because they say that doctors need to study well, while firefighters need a good physical health. Some people answer yes, since their working purpose is assisting people. Others hesitate between yes and no, as doctors and firefighters are both important jobs. For me, these two jobs have both similarities and differences. One obvious similarity is the aim of these two jobs. Doctors and firefighters are trained to save people. Doctors save people by their academic knowledge. It is certain that people will call doctors in case there is an emergency, while firefighters use their strength to rescue people from a dangerous situation, for example, in a fire. Likewise, work atmosphere of both these jobs are quite pressured. It is believed that doctors and firefighters are asked to take action promptly and properly without having time for thinking. In spite of these similarities, these two apparently alike jobs have some opposite things. The first difference is opportunities for promotion. It is supposed that doctors may have more chances to enlarge their knowledge and gain more achievements in their job; in contrast, it seems impossible for firefighters. Other area of difference between these two jobs is salary. Beside monthly salary, doctors can earn money by opening private clinics and being paid for extra working time. A final difference is occupational hazard. Whereas firefighters have to face a lot of dangers or even worse they may be burnt, doctors work in hospitals, diagnose and cure patients. In conclusion, doctors and firefighters are both the same and different. Although these two ones are good jobs and have similar aim as well as workplace atmosphere, firefighters are not equal for salary and opportunities for promotion; moreover, they have to work in many dangerous circumstances. It is significant that the government not only prize for brave firefighters, but also raise their monthly paid.
Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are the same to firefighters? Everyone
usually
answers no,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
need to study well, while firefighters need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
answer yes, since their working purpose is assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Others hesitate between yes and no, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and firefighters are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. For me, these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have both similarities and differences.

One obvious similarity is the aim of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
and firefighters
are trained
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by their academic knowledge. It is certain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in case there is an emergency, while firefighters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their strength to rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation,
for example
, in a fire.
Likewise
, work atmosphere of both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are quite pressured. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and firefighters
are asked
to take action
promptly
and
properly
without having time for thinking.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these similarities, these two
apparently
alike
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jobs
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opposite things.

The
first
difference is opportunities for promotion. It
is supposed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
may have more chances to enlarge their knowledge and gain more achievements in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
;
in contrast
, it seems impossible for firefighters. Other area of difference between these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is salary. Beside monthly salary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
can earn money by opening private clinics and
being paid
for extra working time. A final difference is occupational hazard. Whereas firefighters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
or even worse they may
be burnt
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
work in hospitals, diagnose and cure patients.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and firefighters are both the same and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Although these two ones are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and have similar aim
as well
as workplace atmosphere, firefighters are not equal for salary and opportunities for promotion;
moreover
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
circumstances. It is significant that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prize for brave firefighters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
raise their monthly paid.
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IELTS essay Compare doctors and firefighters

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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