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Compare and contrast the influences of friends and family on adolescent

Compare and contrast the influences of friends and family on adolescent BJwPp
Whether parents or friends have more influence on teens is a controversial topic among many researchers. However, it is undeniable that parents play an integral role in the development of teenagers, namely behaviors The family has greater impact on teenagers’ behavior than friends. Parental involvement in each stage of teens’ life affect their behaviors as an adult later on. For example, the National Longitudinal study of Adolescent Health found out that teens are less likely to use substance when there is the physical presence of a parent in the home. On the other hand, teens who are exposed to negative home environment also have tendency to behave badly. They can get involve in alcohol and tobacco consumption or interpersonal violence. In term of friends’ influence, although peer pressure could make teenagers act in some certain ways but they also could adjust their action under parental guidance. For instance, according to study carried out by Berndt and Keefe (1995), adolescents’ disruptive behavior at school was associated with the level of disruptive behavior of their friends. However, parents could teach children about right and wrong preventing them from perform this kind of behavior and make them become selective when choosing friends. Not only do family and peers affect teens’ behaviors, but they are also important factors on teens’ academic achievement. At school, the young can support each other s’ studying. Due to peer pressure, teens will have strong motivation to obtain academic success. However, parental involvement is also as important as peers. Adults have more experiences to give teens exact decisions. The young need advice guidance and skills from parents to reach achievement during study process. Besides, academic achievement is also caused by genes. Teenagers possessing intellectual heredity have a better academic performance. With regard to mental health, relationships between parents and peers both hold significant influences on adolescents. A research indicates that teenagers tend to be more courageous when facing challenges with their peer assistance. Furthermore, a healthy relationship with friends can nurture positive feelings of teenagers (NebFact, 211, 2007, G. Lingren). On another perspective, a harmful friendship friends can lead to an adverse psychotic condition in youth, which can directly cause common mental disorders such as depression, anxiety and hyperactivity disorder. Therefore, the psychological orientation of parents is much more essential than the peers. A survey conducted by the Office of Adolescent Health (2016) points out that 32% of 13- to 18-year-olds have to suffer from social anxiety disorders and that parents would help them to prevent these types of depressive experiences. In fact, parents are more likely to concern about children’ s mental illness than their friends. The prevention of psychological problems in adolescents can also improve their development of social, behavioural, physical and other outcomes. In conclusion, it is true that children’s action is partly shaped by their peers and largely formed by their home environment.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have more influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
is a controversial topic among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers.
However
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an integral role in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
,
namely
behaviors

The family has greater impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Parental involvement in each stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens’
life affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
as an adult later on.
For example
, the National Longitudinal study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adolescent
Health found out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
substance when there is the physical presence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in the home.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
who
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
home environment
also
have tendency to behave
badly
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involve in alcohol and tobacco consumption or interpersonal violence. In term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends’
influence, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
pressure could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
act in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
could adjust their action under parental guidance.
For instance
, according to study carried out by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Berndt
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Keefe
(1995),
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents’
disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
at school
was associated
with the level of disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could teach children about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
preventing them from perform this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become selective when choosing friends.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievement. At school, the young can support each other s’ studying. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
pressure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
will have strong motivation to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success.
However
, parental involvement is
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
. Adults have more experiences to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
exact decisions. The young need advice guidance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to reach achievement during study process.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievement is
also
caused by genes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
possessing intellectual heredity have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance.

With regard to mental health, relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
both hold significant influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
tend to be more courageous when facing challenges with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
assistance.
Furthermore
, a healthy relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can nurture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feelings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
NebFact
, 211, 2007, G.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lingren
). On another perspective, a harmful friendship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can lead to an adverse psychotic condition in youth, which can
directly
cause common mental disorders such as depression, anxiety and hyperactivity disorder.
Therefore
, the psychological orientation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is much more essential than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
. A survey conducted by the Office of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adolescent
Health (2016) points out that 32% of 13- to 18-year-olds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from social anxiety disorders and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these types of depressive experiences. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more likely to concern about children’ s mental illness than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. The prevention of psychological problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their development of social,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
, physical and other outcomes.

In conclusion
, it is true that children’s action is partly shaped by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
and
largely
formed by their home environment.
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IELTS essay Compare and contrast the influences of friends and family on adolescent

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
478 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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