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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Companies should pay for employees to get a university degree.

Companies should pay for employees to get a university degree. 85G3k
It goes without saying that in such a sophisticated world individuals' social persona not only at companies' positions but also in society is heavily associated with their academic education level. people hold educated persons' respect more than others' as result as far as I'm concerned, i agree with this statement that businesses owner have to pay more attention to their staffs' financial support to continue their study whereas whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. In the ensuing paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons. as I mentioned position hierarchy in companies is importantly based on persons' university degree, consequently employees who are more educated and even less proficient have priority over ones who didn't gain their skill through education, to achieve privileged position and also higher earnings. while its likely uneducated staffs be talented and expert, unfortunately there is a. . . chance to receive respect and other benefits which are belong to literate class. in addition most of people who didn't go to university are pertaining to a stratum that called working class, in this social class people are often occupied for hard and tedious work. but if it be possible to all employees to get money to go to university afterward people's job apportunities will be based on talent, creativity and other justly options however more educated staffs profits companies as well as employees beside all I said about how it's great to workers obtain university degree, people's high level education lead to company's promotion because of this reason that universities are not just a place where students pass some courses also is an environment where students can take a part in some additional programs to elevate their skills, for example conferences and workshops that are holded by Universities, whether the theorical or practical are occurrences through students would be able to improve social skills for example sometimes university invite a psychologist who train students how they have to treat with customers to get best feedback from them or generally what is the best way to accomplish their duties. also conferences could be a chance to meet some proffesionl people who get successful in thei job as result students update their knowledge. as result after getting degree companies have some more expert persons who give company point to participate in competitions with others to put it briefly companies should give their staffers apportunity to get academic degree and it's not only beneficial for employees but also for business owners however all these reasons were according to a justice system that people are classified based on their education at first and other positive characteristics at second not a system which relations are more stronger than rules
It goes without saying that in such a sophisticated world

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individuals
' social persona not
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only
at
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companies
' positions
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but
also
in society is
heavily
associated with their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
hold educated persons' respect more than others' as result as far as I'm concerned,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "businesses'" or "business's"?
businesses
owner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more attention to their staffs' financial support to continue their study
Possible typo: you repeated a word
whereas whereas
others hold exactly the opposite perspective. In the ensuing paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.

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as
I mentioned position hierarchy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
importantly
based on persons'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
consequently
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more educated and even less proficient have priority over ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn't gain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, to achieve privileged position and
also
higher earnings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
its likely uneducated staffs
be talented
and expert, unfortunately there is
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
chance
to receive respect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
benefits which are
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to literate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn't go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
are pertaining to a stratum that called working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, in this social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occupied for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and tedious work.
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but
if it
Did you mean "is"?
be
possible to all employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
afterward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's job
Possible spelling mistake found.
apportunities
will
be based
on talent, creativity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
justly
options
however
more educated staffs profits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
employees


beside
The comma is probably missing here: "all, I".
all I
said about how it's great to workers obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's promotion
because of this
reason that

universities are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses
also
is an environment where

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
can take a part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional programs to elevate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
for example
conferences and workshops that are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "held", the past tense form of the verb 'hold'?
holded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
, whether the
Possible spelling mistake found.
theorical
or practical are occurrences through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
invite a psychologist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
treat with customers to
A determiner is probably missing here: "get the best".
get best
feedback from them or
generally
what is the best way to accomplish their duties.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
conferences could be a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesionl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thei
job as result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
update their knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
result after getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more expert persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
point to participate in competitions with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
others


to put it
briefly


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should give their staffers
Possible spelling mistake found.
apportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and it's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for business owners
however
all these reasons were according to a justice system that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are classified
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
first
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
characteristics at second not a system which relations are
Use only "stronger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more stronger
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
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IELTS essay Companies should pay for employees to get a university degree.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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